And then you get out of school and realise that those were the good times.
I always got pretty worried when adults kept saying that school was the good times growing up, as I didn’t have a particularly good time, and was not onboard for it being downhill from there.
Luckily I’ve learned that it’s not actually universally applicable, my life has definitely just gotten better as I’ve gotten older.
It’s different.
It’s way better in some ways - especially if you find a good career in a field you’re passionate about.
But some of the responsibilities of adulthood are a burden that is hard to appreciate until you’re there. And the perspective gained by life experience is also very different, for better or worse.
For instance, I went through a breakup last year at 39 with someone I was fully expecting to marry. It was my first major relationship failure in decades, and as I was being dumped I expected it to crush me.
What ended up hurting the most was that it didn’t hurt that much. I didn’t spiral into depression or fall apart at work. I wasn’t happy about it, but I was fine. A younger me would have been overwhelmed by the emotional toll, but the adult me was able to keep moving forward without breaking stride.
And in a way that’s what hurts. The passion of youth has been tempered by a lifetime of experience that puts everything into perspective.
Ugh, as you get older, everything just starts to dull. Things are less important, less passionate, and more “meh” in general. And not in a depressed way, but more specifically that I’ve been there, done that for most emotions I could have.
I will say that now that I have an infant daughter, I’m finding those passionate emotions again and I’m excited as she’s excited and sad when she’s sad. That is the great part about parenting.
And in a way that’s what hurts. The passion of youth has been tempered by a lifetime of experience that puts everything into perspective.
Ok, yes, I felt that.
And in a way that’s what hurts. The passion of youth has been tempered by a lifetime of experience that puts everything into perspective.
21, and I am feeling this already.
They’re the good times because you see you had no responsibilities and endless potential to be so many things, which becomes less and less true as you age. Of course, it’s miserable too not knowing what you are/what to do and feeling lost because you have no responsibilities, so it’s really just a grass is greener thing I imagine.
Yeah I think it is a greener grass situation. Sure you may have no responsibilities, but you also have less freedom in school. You can’t live on your own, can’t drink or gamble or vote or anything like that, can’t go where you want, etc. There’s always a trade-off.
I hated being a kid because no one took anything I had to say seriously — drove me crazy
I just started my internship, and I have to say, it is so good not to have to worry about exams, projects and so on aftera full day of school and on weekends. When I close the lid of the laptop, the day is over. Plus I get smaller days, from 9 to 5 instead of from 8 to 5/6. I have never had as much free time
Your school day was 8 to 6? Damn. That definitely doesn’t sound normal.
Not every day was the same, some were 9 to 6, some 8 to 4, some 8 to 5, but 8 to 6 is not a rare occurrence
Not trying to downplay your experience, but uni was actually so much better for me… being able to focus on things that actually coincide with my interests and abilities in Uni was so liberating after being forced to go through five classes a day five days a week, most of which were either insultingly idiotic or existentially difficult… Not to mention having an actually human-paced schedule with ample time to plan ahead instead of constantly being in damage reduction mode. I remember thinking to myself in the first year of uni: “Is this what normal life is supposed to feel like?” I’m still recovering from school emotionally, but the fact that I finally have the mental space to recover is definitely a good sign. I guess you and I just have way different schools, universities, and personal circumstances!
Yeah, that totally ends with school.
I definitely don’t live in this state perpetually while I work with no summer break and just a few days at Christmas. Nope. Definitely not.
Go wild kids!
👌
Oh, shit, was that supposed to stop at school?
Just wait until you finish school and join the work force lol
Working just gets worse… 😔
Work is pretty much the same, but depending on your job it can be way worse, or actually not that bad. I’ve had both.
Started off in a repetitive job with highly demanding monthly targets that we’d need to hit to get our full bonus (which was a significant part of total comp, salary was low as hell). It was an endless cycle of “X more days until Friday”.
I transitioned into software engineering. Ya know what? Occasionally I was EXCITED for the next work week. It’s still work and it’s hella stressful and sometimes you wish you could take the next 5 years off and have no obligations. But a lot of the time, you’re not actively waiting for the weekend anymore. Helps that my commute before I transitioned fully to home office was a 12 minute walk and I had after-work activities on weekdays to be excited for.
School for me was living hell for 5 days a week, working for me is alright and at least i also have money to use in my free time. Which I have less of of course, but even if school hadn’t been hell I’d never want to go back.
Which is to say, if anyones reading this who’s still in school and is getting discouraged from people saying working is worse, don’t be. It’s very subjective and depends on your job too. If school feels like torture, work will probably be an improvement.
Honestly the worst thing about school were the other kids. Everybody are little psychopaths and are utterly ruthless. At work everybody just wants to get paid and no one really gives a shit about other’s business (YMMV though).
Also there’s no homework, which is a godsend as somebody with ADHD. Just show up, work your little butt off and go home, nice and simple.
Yep, the other kids traumatized me for life lol. And they didn’t even hate me or anything, as I found out by them becoming generally fine to interact with in like 11th grade when they were 17+.
The homework I was thankfully able to just flat out ignore. But that along staying up way too long and as such struggling to stay awake in class lead to friction with teachers, so once the other kids weren’t a problem anymore, it was instead the classes themselves. Which were also just mostly very boring and very slow, and I’m suspecting I also have adhd.
Mostly the other kids, but I know for a lot of people it was the teachers (or parents and their attitude/expectations) too.
There’s been exactly one school shooting in my country and I happened to know people at that school at the time. They said the teacher that got shot was literally picking on the one kid with a strict military father knowing he’d get punished any time he got bad grades.
Honey, welcome to life.
Boy do I have news for you
Look on the brightside. You still have the weekend when you are in school. Wait until you get a family and every single fucking weekend is taken up events you don’t want to go to but you get nagged into.
Hey, you don’t need a family to have your whole weekend eaten up by a bunch of shit you don’t wanna do.
I don’t know. Had a few good years between marriage and uni where I could fill my weekend with fun stuff. That was pretty nice.
Then why did you decide to have kids?
I had homework during the weekend when I was in school…
Yeah but most people in school have to hold a side job too to make ends meet
Including me.
I would gladly take a side job over another weekend birthday party. Work isn’t supposed to be fun, there is something insulting about being dragged to something supposed to be fun but isn’t.
As I am typing this it occurs to me I have a solution to my problem. Thanks for inspiring me.
Haha nice. Might I also recommend taking up a very time-consuming yet rewarding hobby?
Eh, OP may be complaining but if they have a family then their family deserves some of their time. A hobby isn’t gonna make the responsibilities disappear, just give them another thing to compete for their time.
Op needs to talk to their family and figure out how to make time for self care.
True, but that still fits with the hobby idea - they could use a personal interest to drag their family into instead of always being dragged to everyone else’s things
“You are running out of ‘It is what it is’, are you sure you want to continue?” [Y][N]
sucks to suck – would you like to continue?
Wait until you discover jobs
It’s preparing you to do the same for work.
Wait until you get a job.
Just wait until you realize that’s all the workforce feels like too.
