Don’t let incel types cause you to shape your impression of why you’re being rejected and turn it into a reason to hate a whole gender. Some of them have shitty standards, sure, but don’t turn it into a rule about them. That leads to a downward spiral.
Absolutely, I agree. What I was trying to convey is that to me it never feels like I am enough. I know rejection is part of the game. However, it does hit hard—it affects my self-esteem. That is my problem and I need to work on that.
Still, I think you can agree there is a lot of competition going on. It’s axiomatic that there are more men on dating apps than women. That leaves me at a disadvantage. To make matters worse, these apps are designed to judge someone based on looks. I am pretty fit, though nowhere near extremely strong. Just plain average.
I don’t blame women for choosing the top percent of men on these apps (if the roles were reversed I would’ve likely done the same). Yet for someone the likes of me the only winning move is not to play.
Also, I am no misogynist. I don’t abhor women for being rejected. They don’t owe me anything. That is not to say that I don’t find the process of finding a love companion difficult.
Yeah, it is rough, but keep in mind dating is hard for most people so it’s less of a you problem than your brain want to make it feel like.
And don’t think of it as being a “top” person or not. It’s healthier and more accurate to think of it as compatibility. There’s not a linear scale of people. When someone’s interested in you (for the right reason) it’s because you work together as people, not because you’re the best person they can get and vice versa.
You’re not misogynistic, but watch out for the people who try to portray dating as more adversarial than it is so they can profit from amplifying our insecurities.
Absolutely, I agree. What I was trying to convey is that to me it never feels like I am enough. I know rejection is part of the game. However, it does hit hard—it affects my self-esteem. That is my problem and I need to work on that.
Still, I think you can agree there is a lot of competition going on. It’s axiomatic that there are more men on dating apps than women. That leaves me at a disadvantage. To make matters worse, these apps are designed to judge someone based on looks. I am pretty fit, though nowhere near extremely strong. Just plain average.
I don’t blame women for choosing the top percent of men on these apps (if the roles were reversed I would’ve likely done the same). Yet for someone the likes of me the only winning move is not to play.
Also, I am no misogynist. I don’t abhor women for being rejected. They don’t owe me anything. That is not to say that I don’t find the process of finding a love companion difficult.
Wish you a wonderful Happy New Year bud!
Yeah, it is rough, but keep in mind dating is hard for most people so it’s less of a you problem than your brain want to make it feel like.
And don’t think of it as being a “top” person or not. It’s healthier and more accurate to think of it as compatibility. There’s not a linear scale of people. When someone’s interested in you (for the right reason) it’s because you work together as people, not because you’re the best person they can get and vice versa.
You’re not misogynistic, but watch out for the people who try to portray dating as more adversarial than it is so they can profit from amplifying our insecurities.