Either by choice or sheer luck. What is something that has happened to you that made your life actively better?
(So far) For me it has been me finally able to move out of my parents home.
My best thing happened unexpectedly on March 15, 1973. (Probably makes me the oldest person in the room.) My high school guidance counselor died in his sleep. Bummer for him, but lucky for me. Back in the ’60s, my school system had me pegged as a gifted student, which was a one-size fits all label. That tag followed me to high school, where as a green sophomore, I was assigned the “gifted” guidance counselor, Mr. Daly. Daly was also a history teacher, and greatly loved and admired. He was a retired USMC Vietnam vet, and suffered from Marfan syndrome, giving him a strange and imposing appearance. He was a force of nature, that guy. I was 15 when we first met, and I had no idea about what I would do with my life. Because of my label, Daly had it all figured out. In his mind I was on my way to become a doctor, lawyer, CEO, etc. Yeah — no thanks. I had no goals, only passions — Photography and Design. I wanted to enroll in my school’s tech classes and follow my interests. Daly squashed that idea. Wasn’t going to happen. I was heartbroken. As a kid of 15 I had no leverage, and didn’t know how I could get what I wanted. My parents were no help; “He probably knows best” was the best they could do. A few weeks later, when I came to school on the 16th of March, word was that Mr. Daly had died the previous night. While the school was in mourning, I was a pretty happy kid. My new counselor had no objections to me taking the photo and design track. :: After high school, university and some preliminary jobs, I started my own marketing communications business (then called freelancing, today gig work) and continued for 30+ years by myself. Of course the work had its ups and downs, but I was happy and always employed. :: Now I’m 66 and retired, and I always wonder what my life would be like if Mr. Daly had lived and imposed his vision on my life. Guess I got lucky. :: Rest in peace, Mr. D.
This is a really well told and interesting answer. Thank you for sharing!
Amazing story. Indeed thank you for sharing! 💜🧡
You’re older than I am, but not by a lot.
My guidance counsellor moment was probably around 1975-76. I was deep into comp sci; a friend would tell me years later that the teacher knew less than at least a couple of us. I would ask him a question, he would say he’d look into it. Unbeknownst to me, he wandered over to the other advanced student (Phil) and put my question to him. Phil would reply, teacher would make his way back to me and share the knowledge. The same thing would happen if Phil had a question; teacher would come to me for the answer.
My friend watched this whole thing with amusement.
Now for the GC moment. Career counselling.
I went to the GC’s office full of electric enthusiasm, hoping to learn of the great CS things that awaited me after uni. I told him about my love and fascination with computers. He had the reaction, the kind a parent has when they need to tell their child their favourite pet has died. He told me that it might be fun and make for an interesting hobby, but that there were no computer-related careers. And that I should consider another vocation. I was crushed.
I even spent some years in university studying things that were unrelated to CS. My career didn’t get any traction until about 10 years after HS, unsurprisingly in the field I was most passionate about.
Anyway, I’ve been a computer professional for about 35 years now.
Learned a trade that I love as a career (industrial electrician), fell in love with my boyfriend, bought and renovated a home from 1890 together, plan to get married eventually!
Surprisingly (to me), having a child. I never wanted kids. Never even babysat, didn’t like them-- hated how silly, loud, and disgusting they are. Then I got pregnant by accident. I was terrified. I was abused as a child and have a bad temper, so I was afraid I would lose it and hurt my kid. Pregnancy was difficult, labor and delivery moreso, but the instant he popped out … I cannot describe to you the transformation. I am sure it is purely hormonal; pitocin is a helluva drug. My husband even said, “Who are you and what have you done with my wife?” It was akin to a lobotomy. Suddenly I adored babies and wanted to hold them and coo at them. I became more mellow and patient, went from the sort of conservative mindset that thinks “get a job,” to the theretofore incomprehensible liberal views like “most in jail aren’t really to blame for the circumstances they find themselves in, let’s help them instead of punish them.”
My son is by far the biggest blessing in my life. He is a companion that I never grow tired of, a wise sounding board, and a balm to my old age. I am literally a kinder, better person because I had him.
What advice can you give to other children hating women?
I’m not one to give advice. My joy is a happy accident of chemistry, I think.
I had a zit on my armpit that made an audible pop, my soul still shivers from that one. Also marrying my husband.
My son was born healthy. Became a father I guess would be more “to me”…
Said screw it and moved to Korea.
I was incredibly lucky and met a Korean in school, so I was able to get all the info I needed about what to expect. I’ve been here 3 years now, sure I miss my family and friends but I’ve been granted a new life.
To anyone who thinks their life sucks: move. Everyone has an excuse, but at the end of the day you’ll either stay where you are until you die, or you’ll go somewhere new.
I’ve been in Korea for coming up on 14 years. It’s really a great place to live.
It’s not so easy to just “move” like you say. Most people can’t afford to uproot their lives and start somewhere else. Im happy for you but don’t assume others can just “move” if things are bad for them.
I made this comment explicitly because people say it’s not easy to just “move”. The truth is… Yea, of course it’s hard. But unless you have a health condition that requires weekly hospital attendance, it’s a matter of how much you want it
That’s not true at all. Many are living paycheck to paycheck and can’t afford the price of a major change like this. “It’s a matter of how much you want it” is a brain dead reply. There are people who literally cant afford to live where they are now.
Teaching jobs will pay for your flight and accommodation (provided you have a degree) . I came to Korea with just enough cash to survive for a month. It’s actually not expensive.
You are making so many assumptions it’s insane. Not everybody has a degree in teaching. Just stop
You don’t need a degree in teaching. Any degree is enough to meet the visa requirements. If you’re single and have no pets it is actually pretty easy.
It must be nice to come from a world where you can just get any degree you want and then have the ability to move whenever you want and find any job in a new country and have the money to float the whole process.
Another option would be to become a volunteer and join an organisation that does volunteering work abroad. There are possibilities for them sponsoring your flights, accommodation, and meals.
Meeting my girlfriend!
And your love for hot dogs!
Huh?
I can’t wait to see where this goes.
Yeah I can’t help but feel I’m the butt of a joke I don’t get
And your love for hotdogs !
Absolutely meeting my husband. Joining the military absolutely laid the groundwork for breaking out of my conservative/republican ideology, but it was truly the work my husband put into me to pull me in Progressive thinking. I tell him all the time how he’s made me into a MUCH better human being.
It’s funny, I joined the Marines, infantry, and came out much, much more progressive.
I think it’s eye opening to see how much better everyone’s lives are when they have things like free Healthcare, subsidized school, and subsidized housing.
Not to mention many of our deployments occurring to locations where religious extremism has dominated society.
The military used to lean heavily red as a rule, but I think looking around and seeing the struggles of our civvie family and friends makes us go, “Fuck, wouldn’t it be awesome if EVERYONE could have this?”
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Meeting my spouse. They make me want to be a better person.
Yeah. My toxic as shit ex wife decided she wanted a divorce. What I perceived to be the worst day of my life was actually the best day of my life I just didn’t know it yet.
I met this extremely successful woman that has shown me life can be amazing. I never thought life could be this good.
I have a job I really love
Meeting my wife. She’s the best and I’m better off because of her.
Hey fucker you took my answer! She’s the best tho isn’t she? Mine is the best. I’m sure yours is the best. They’re the best.
Cliche but meeting my partner, girl has saved me from so many dumb decisions and she has no idea.
That’s a long list but here’s a few things.
- Going to therapy.
- Being willing to forgive and make peace with my dad.
- Seeking medical treatment for my ADHD.
- Getting a septoplasty. (Who knew being able to breathe through you nose was so great.)
- Divorcing my first wife, who is a truly awful person.
- Saying yes to a date with my (now) wife, who is an awesome person.
- Learning to love myself just the way I am.
- Taking an active role in managing my finances.
- Going to collage and experiencing the wide gamut of experiences there.
- Meeting my wife and her saying yes to going on a date with me my last year of college.
- Living in a foreign country (Japan) for 3 years for work with my wife and having 2 kids while I was there.
- Having kids (3 in total)
- Designing and building our own house.
Wife & kids
