• CleoTheWizard@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        10
        ·
        edit-2
        1 year ago

        I once made a pact with my best friend, around when we were 12 years old, that if either of us came out as gay that the other one would kill them.

        My solution was to stop talking to him a long time ago and to get a protective boyfriend. I refuse to become the most dangerous gay game.

          • CleoTheWizard@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            1
            ·
            11 months ago

            No, I’m mostly joking. I haven’t talked to him in years and he’s not crazy like that. And who knows, maybe he’s changed as much as I have since that was well over a decade ago that we said that.

  • alpacapants@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    32
    ·
    1 year ago

    I saw a woman being grabbed and angry whispered at the fair. She looked scared and was much smaller than the guy. She had three kids and it was just awful to watch.

    But it was in a crowd, and no one was reacting. We locked eyes and to my shame I didn’t do anything. Not an excuse, but I am a smaller woman, I had my kid with me and my husband who is larger was in another area of the fair. I felt scared if that man was comfortable doing that to her, openly , in public and in front of the kids, would be hit me if I tried to intervene? And how to intervene? Would I make it worse for her. I couldn’t figure out what to do, so I did nothing. By the time my husband got back, I had lost sight of them.

    I still remember the two youngest kids, around my daughter’s age, being unphased, but the older kid looking scared and embarrassed. The woman looking resigned and sad. It really bothers me and I always thought I would stand up on that situation.

    • dave@hal9000@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      14
      ·
      1 year ago

      You were dealing with some 3D chess problem there, especially with kids on both ends… I am a dad, and I don’t even know how I would have handled that on my own even without my kid around. I know it sucks, but you can’t beat yourself too much on this one

      Having your partner around sure helps. We had a crazy racist Karen situation once in a parade in our neighborhood, where this woman questioned whether we belonged in that particular spot since she had been “reserving” it by putting her stuff all over the place for hours. She heard my wife’s accent and started berating her about “where’s she from?” (We are both immigrants but she’s more obvious in terms of accent). I had our kid on my shoulders, so I just made a calmly toned comment of “we live on this exact street” and directed my kid’s attention away from the racism and towards the fun parade, while my wife proceeded to call her shit out. The woman had two kids there and didn’t give a fuck, proceeded to go on racist rant against my wife (who very well stood her ground) while her own kids were crying their hearts out in fear over the confrontation. End result was all the adults had a shitty time, but at least all my kid remembers is a cool parade…

      And for anyone from New Orleans feeling like this sounds familiar, yeah, it was Mardi Gras, and some fancy lady from the Garden District thought we should have not had the audacity to try to get too close to St Charles for our kid to see the Muses parade

  • agent_flounder@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    19
    ·
    1 year ago

    Not sticking up for that girl in class (in the 80d) that the super scary bully called ugly. Worse. Going along with his bullshit. Fucking hell. I was such a goddamn smarmy scared little bitch. Never, ever again.

  • intensely_human@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    6
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    1 year ago

    I stayed with a woman who was abusing me for six years after I knew I wanted out, because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

  • roofuskit@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    1 year ago

    Joining in on any bullying as a kid instead of stopping it. I was also bullied. One day in freshman year of high school a switch flipped and I would not stand for it anymore, but I even bullied the kid I started standing up for before the switch flipped.