Based off a post I made on Reddit a while back. Hope y’all enjoy.
Edit: Since people are mentioning it - the stat buffs do not matter. I was being silly when I threw those in. But yes, the scale is 0-100.
Fatigue mask seems cool, until you’re just spending 7 extra hours a day procrastinating doing the thing you thought you’d use all this extra time to achieve.
The glasses are OP. With them, nobody can even be mad at you for all the procrastination.
Fatigue mask fixes my insomnia, I like to think that the world isn’t ready for that amount of unbridled power
… In reality, I probably just exist as I do today, just less knackered
The hours are great but falling asleep instantly and waking up fully rested… oh my… I don’t remember the last time I felt fully rested even after 8 hours.
The penny is OP. Flip a coin, get a heads, buy the most expensive lottery ticket at the gas station. Wait 2 weeks, repeat. Infinite money glitch
I was trying to avoid “cool item give big money” because that’s exactly what I did when I posted the idea on Reddit. It was a set of dice that would give the winning lottery numbers and then scatter like the Dragon Balls. And then guess what half of everyone chose. At least the penny can be used for things other than gambling. Idk maybe something like that should be a single use item to balance things out.
It’s functionally a wish every 4 weeks, and you know if you’ll succeed or not before you attempt whatever it is.
Win the lottery, invent time travel, learn to fly, solve world hunger, conquer the universe, create the other artifacts…
Your thinking too small. With the glasses you can just talk your way into being a ceo and be a billionaire in a few years. Have fun talking to the lottery commission when I am sipping brandy with people I hate.
Ok, the mask if you are actually rested and not just “feeling rested”. Being hit with the physical effects of sleep deprivation and having organs start failing after a couple weeks would be a real problem.
Otherwise, that damn penny. Knowing that I have 12 hours of “I win” without any real limitation, even if it ends up being 12 hrs/month, would be obscenely broken. None of the other artifacts even come close. I make sure I always flip on a Monday at about 8am, if it’s heads, I apply for jobs I want and trade some stocks until about 1 pm, then go for a walk and see what goodness I can fall into for my life. Head home around 6pm with 2 hours of perfect luck left which I spend working on the cure for Autoimmune diseases and Cancer. Once I have enough wealth built up and have found plenty of cures to Salk the hell our of to piss off the pharma companies, I start working on Nuclear Fusion. Continue this pattern until I get bored.
I agree, with one huge exception. Why the hell are you wasting your lucky coin applying for jobs?
Also, sure, do some trades once to get some starter money. But that’s a waste of your precious 12 hours a month. As is going for walks. You can be on vacation the other 98% of the time; spend every second of your penny time doing as much good as you can.
Cure diseases, solve nuclear fusion, end wars and violence, build infrastructure. There seems to be no limit the way it’s worded. Hell, build the Enterprise from Star Trek (or a better space ship) and spend your non-penny time exploring the galaxy.
Do physical laws even apply? Can you build replicators for everyone? How about a mansion in a tardis for every person on the planet?
For how long do you have to try something to succeed at it? Maybe you can do each of these things in just a couple seconds. If that’s the case, maybe penny time will quickly become non-valuable if you run out of ideas.
- I specifically stated that “I apply to jobs I want”. Your statement indicates that you consider all work to be a waste of time. I personally want a job developing AI tools that work for the betterment of humanity. I wouldn’t need it to pay well as the investments I make on penny time would be my income. Also, it is one of those things that take too long to do in 12 hours, and having a team to work with helps a ton too.
- The trades aren’t taking 12 hours. If you had the golden touch, and intended on making trades that had long-term viability with 100% success, then an hour or two a month would be all you needed. This also makes sure that the growth is slow enough that the SEC doesn’t get alerted.
- I didn’t say I was going to take a walk to take a walk. I said I was walking around for a few hours to see what good fortune I could find. Again, if I have 100% successful luck, then everything I do is charmed. Walking “aimlessly” around most towns while under such an effect greatly increases the opportunities to happen across something that is beneficial.
- The limitation is that you mentioned at the end, the 12 hours every 2 weeks. There is only so much that can be done in that span of time. Everything I mentioned was specifically designed to expand the knock-on effects of the good luck into the rest of the time that I don’t have it. A stock portfolio with guaranteed long-term growth, research breakthroughs which need to be built upon by experimentation and work, meeting the right people and forming the right relationships in my community, a long-term employment that provides me the challenges and long-term results in the world. The biggest challenge is to make sure that you have a good life that makes a difference while you have your normal luck, not concentrating on short term success.
I actually wonder if the coin interacts with an int stat. What if it’s more nuanced than you’ll attempt to create a replicator by doing x and you will successfully find out that it’s impossible to do it in the way you intended.
I’m thinking like “I’m going to make a replicator in my garage” then getting stuck since you don’t know how to make the attempt. If you would know how then you’d be successful of course.
I have always had the power fantasy of the superpower of “I can manipulate anything I can understand. The better, more nuanced, and more correct my understanding, the more fine and powerful my control.”
It is essentially an int stat demipotence. Obviously, I would never achieve omnipotence or omniscience, but it would be cool to just rewrite the laws of physics because I understand how they work normally.
Also, I know better than to ever touch the Hubble constant or vacuum energy state. It would be fun to do extremely local manipulation of the gravitational constant or maybe some of the Riemann curvature constants to adjust the local shape of spacetime.
If you send us all hurtling into the sun, I swear to god…
Just, uh, be careful with gravity lol
I’ll be careful. Keep things very local. That said, I cannot promise that I won’t create a pillar of negative mass curvature to enable instantaneous, non-inertial, light speed acceleration directly into the sun for specific humans.
I apply for jobs I want and trade some stocks
Bro, why are you applying for jobs? You are rich!
Again, not all jobs are about money. I want something meaningful to occupy my non-lucky time. All being rich means for me is that I don’t have go suffer while I pursue it. It also affords me more time to focus on what I want to focus on and lead a much lower-stress life. I’m not looking to enrich someone with the job, but I would like to enrich the world.
Coin
Look, the glasses are nice and all, but they don’t give you a 50% change to win the lottery and randomly realise a way to prove/disprove the Riemann hypothesis every two weeks
I wonder how this works with elections. In my country, the votes are counted within 12 hours. When I’m voting on a party, I am attempting to make said party the largest one. Does the coin just give me a 50% chance to unilaterally decide my government every election cycle?
Edit: oh shit, it’s not 50% chance, but 100% after it came into effect once. The first time it lands on heads, try to guess the next flip’s outcome by guessing it would be heads. Since the coin is in effect, this guess is correct, even though the next coin will only be flipped in two weeks
In other words, the coin just gives you reality warping for halve a day every two weeks
It says “everything the user attempts” which technically you can guess what the next coin result will be correctly but your guess will stop being lucky after 12 hours and your attempt won’t be lucky.
Coin sounds the best tbh. It’s an infinite money with extra benefits.
I’m assuming there’s a downside, like you have to commit to whatever thing you were planning before the flip. So like I say I’m going to slap a cop, and then I flip the coin, hoping for the best.
Maybe the effect only lasts until you look which side of the coin came up - so you won’t know how it will go until you’ve tried it. :D
Does the coin just give me a 50% chance to unilaterally decide my government every election cycle?
No, this one is the most like a “monkey’s paw” on this list. Here’s why:
everything the user attempts will work out in their favor
For instance, the worst possible candidate in your district/country is absolutely going to lower your taxes. Doesn’t matter who you want to win.
The sleep mask looks like the obvious bet. Have you ever been awake for 20 hours straight? It’s not debilitating, but after about 18 I start getting woozy. I’m gonna go with it anyway, because even if I take the penny and win the lottery, the one thing money can’t buy is time
Au conteaire, money well spent does, in fact, buy time. If you are broke and have to spend half your day riding buses to get your errands done and you buy a car and can get them done in an hour or two, that is half a day you just bought. If you can hire a maid and a chef, that is all of the time that would have been spent cleaning and cooking that you now get to figure out how to spend. Don’t let anyone lie to you that money cannot buy time, because being able to use money to speed up tasks or offload them entirely is literally buying time.
23 hours a day instead of 16 to 19 seems real good. That’s like living considerably longer.
Idunno, now I’m conflicted. On the one hand, having 20ish more years to enjoy life would be great, but winning the lottery via the penny would make the 40ish waking years I have left much higher quality
Better to be lucky than good.
Plus the others are essentially crutches. Febreeze underwear? Just take a shower. “Charm” glasses? A shower and a new haircut will get you halfway there. Maybe a watch and new shoes too.
Sleep mask is tempting but you need to hold onto it and use it for the benefit. With the penny you only need to use it once or twice to change your life. No one will ever know because you just “got lucky”. You can live a normal life too.
Compelling, except there’s no implicit control over what the “luck” brings. I assume it’s always positive, but from who’s/ what’s perspective? Winning the lotto might be lucky, but it could be some other “positive” thing that you don’t really care for. Maybe that’s a little too “monkey’s paw”? I dunno. Just to many variables.
Coin is overpowered af. Just flip the coin and buy a lottery. At that precise moment, all other items are practically useless.
You can hire a cook, sleep, buy whatever you need, hire people to do your bidding. Who needs charisma when they have money?
It is overpowered af but don’t use it to get money. Use it to get the charisma glasses and each of the others during your first 12 hours (coincidently, they will all be close and easy to grab). Then attempt to write out an exhaustive list of any other objects or abilities that might threaten you (or maybe start with this one, as the glasses are the only one that threatens you from the original list). I’d say hopefully no one else has some other object or ability that warns them of anything that might threaten them, but yours might nullify theirs during your 12 hours. Attempt to deal with the list before half the time has passed.
Then start attempting to gain new abilities. Or attempt to find 28 more coins. 28 instead of 27 so that you can flip the next coin before the current one runs out and never fail the next flip. The sleep mask ensures you never sleep through a transition. Not that you’ll even need the ability to be constantly active.
“Anything you attempt” is waaaaay too broad.
Absolutely. I was assuming one can only access to one item.
Yeah I was going to choose the sleep mask until I saw the coin. If everything goes my way then I effectively have the powers of the glasses and the frying pan, plus unlimited luxury from lotteries, discoveries, opportunities, etc. The cooldown needs to be nerfed, or maybe add a negative debuff to the tails side.
The penny, then I’ll try and take the rest. (Flips coin, it landed on heads!)
I’ll do you one better and rank these instead.
- Lucky Penny
- Caffeinated shoes
- Fatigue masking mask
- Frying pan of flavor
- The cool glasses
- Underwear of febreze
I really wanted to put the caffeinated shoes at number 1, but the lucky Penny sounds OP.
Also, the underwear is an unfortunate item because most people who need it wouldn’t choose it. It’s also the only item that could be simulated with one hour of effort a day (at most) for most people.
Nah, glasses need to be ranked much higher. Do you realize how powerful those are just in every day use? Always impress at job interviews or reviews for promotions/raises? Use in sales jobs or anything customer/client facing to always come out of it ahead? Not only being able to be effortlessly popular in all forms of relationships, but also always know the right things to say to help those people or help them feel better?
“Social situations” is such a broad term that applies to so much of life, and being able to navigate them perfectly implies more than just schmoozing your way to the top. They’d help you do better and be better, basically everywhere.
I think you’re right about the glasses. At the very least they’re probably better than that frying pan. The more I think about it they might be right under that penny.
That’s what I was thinking but Lucky Penny is weirded way too close to a monkey paw,
And I think the shoes may make you run a long way tall fast but only as fast as you could already run? Because it’s only while afternoons lasts. Heck it might just insta gib you
Ok … duh … the glasses are the best artifact.
You could be running the world in no time with that kind of charm applied to politics.
Jesus, who the fuck wants to do that…?
I am definitely not qualified to run the world.
I would go crazy just to have the fatigue masking mask.
1 hour… fully rested??? Assuming one gets 8 hours of sleep a night (though, who is really getting 8 a night on lemmy?), you’ve just converted your ratio of sleep-to-awake from 1:2 to 1:23.
Extreme change imo, plus gives you the benefit of having time to take care of your hygiene anyway.
Will the sleep mask make me well rested or the regular not rested I usually get from sleeping 8 hours?
Sleep disorders, checking in!
If I had to put these on a personal tier list
S Tier:
-
Cool Glasses - As someone on the spectrum who is below-average in terms of physical attractiveness, the one thing I sorely lack is rizz. The ability to put on a pair of glasses and be able to automatically pass any job interview, make any new friends, sell any product, chat up any woman, etc would be massive. Also, no cooldown.
-
Fatigue Masking Mask - Gaining an extra 7 waking hours of time in a day is massive. If you’re productive this is the artifact to go for.
? Tier:
- Caffeinated Shoes - This item is either moderately © to insanely (A) useful depending on its limitations. If you can skim across entire oceans at superhuman speed then that’s massive. If you lack superhuman reflexes and will get splattered into a fine bloody mist from colliding with anything then it becomes a lot less useful.
B Tier:
- Frying Pan of Flavor Town - Unless it’s a massive cast iron pan, don’t expect to be opening up restaurants with it. It’s best reserved for your own nutrition and impressing guests with your cooking.
C Tier:
- Lucky Penny - A 50% chance of having incredible luck for twelve hours once every fortnight seems great, but the cooldown is prohibitive. Also, unless RNGesus has bad luck protection, there is an incredibly slim chance that none of the 2000 or so times you get to use this item will yield any changes. Also, good luck can still wear off after those twelve hours.
D Tier:
- Underwear of Fe’Breeze - Personal hygiene doesn’t take up much time, and with the right environment and lifestyle you can easily build up a habit. This one is just the least useful.
I agree with all of this except for the penny. If it makes everything you try go right for 12 hours, you could do some pretty awesome and life-changing stuff, even if it has a long cool down! It could be A or S tier depending on how you use it
I mean… A vial of Felix Felicis with twelve hour effectiveness and a 50% chance to proc once every fortnight… Maybe I am underestimating it.
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Plus… Underwear is until un equipped. Imagine about to get sexy time and you need to take them off. Lots of vomit will suddenly appear.
Depends on how it mitigates bad odor and poor hygiene. If it pauses rather than masks what harms your hygiene, then you’re all good. Otherwise… 🤢🤢🤮
I just overall think it’s not a useful artifact.
-
Take the underwear and go into the deep ocean or outer space.
Unlimited fresh breath is an invaluable bonus.
…
“Listen here, you little shit”
Until you get crushed by pressure or frozen from near zero temps
If I equip the shoes and the frying pan, I can RP as the scout from tf2.
BONK
I’m not even winded!
