I made a similar post a couple of years ago, but I think it’s time again after seeing a few nice-guy/incel posts here. So, guys who have made it to the other side, what would you say to your previous self? I’ll leave my own personal answer in a comment below.
Not a downside at all in my opinion. There’s a framework and consequences for infractions. (Not really, but in theory)
I love innuendo as humour. I learned not to use it for everyone, everywhere, all the time precisely because I would have been sacked. I’m naturally quite flirty as a person, which I also learned to temper by not getting sacked. I was forced to learn how to ask about that thing you talked about last week. Which forced me to pay attention to what you say this week, so I can ask next week.
So to the dance group: I had already learned what is/n’t appropriate for work, which is close enough for acquaintances. Conversation happens, a bit of personality creeps (intended) out, they back away (I’ve learned to recognise when someone shuts down a conversation at work) I apologise, life goes on me a little the wiser. Or, a bit of personality creeps out, my partner lowers the tone too, life is fun. Usually, when I feel I’ve known someone enough, I’ll let them know I have gutter humour and will flirt with anyone, apologise in advance, let them know I don’t mean anything by it, and that I’m doing my best. I started this because those like me identify and we get to the good times sooner, those not like me don’t identify and I’m more aware around them.
Too many, and I’m sure I’m guilty of running right up against that line more often than I’m aware. Then again, I’ll flirt with anyone that flirts with me (and I mean anyone), but I’m not looking to hookup at all, engaged and all that.