Same philosophy, but we did get married after we realized the legal protections and tax benefits were worth it. We just saw too much opportunity for our very dissimilar families to pull some nonsense if someone became ill or incapacitated.
We snuck into a park (that requires reservations for ceremonies) with some friends and that was that.
The rings are simple and inexpensive, and also rarely worn. We know what we’re about.
Congratulations … we get along with each others families very well now and there’s no worries about anyone pulling anything on us (although there is always a chance that may change) … but at the same time, everyone is now so freakin old that it almost doesn’t matter to anyone any more. We are seriously thinking of getting officially married, simply for the fact that this is the only way to deal with medical rights issues for spouses and partners.
Yeah. Both of us depart from our families, and didn’t want to be in a position where we could have a parent or sibling try to “pull rank” about some medical decision, or have to worry about assets.
got him a synthetic diamond ring for $300 (looks great, large diamond with lots of small decorative diamonds, easily looks 10x or even 100x the price we paid)
spent all of the money we would have spent on wedding and ring on a long vacation
Because the government is involved in all sorts of other things, including, for example, who’s allowed to make decisions for someone when they’re sick or dying and unable to make decisions for themselves.
And if you want to make those decisions for your partner you need to have some kind of government involvement in your relationship, either a legal marriage or some other waiver / power of attorney / whatever.
I’ve heard stories from elder gays about the United States before gay marriage was legal. Back when someone who’d been with their partner for decades couldn’t even visit them in the hospital when they were dying, because they weren’t legally the next of kin. When a young gay man could be in the hospital with AIDS and their estranged, anti-gay parents could swoop in, deny medical care, pull the plug, and take his body away from his partner and community to cremate him and flush the ashes, and because those parents were the young man’s next of kin no one could do anything to stop them.
Not to mention finances, inheritance, taxes, power of attorney, all the messy government stuff that becomes much simpler when you have a legal marriage that automatically provides it.
I think of what could happen if my partner was in the hospital and their parents were their next of kin and I’m very happy for our legal marriage.
What you described is exactly why Equal Marriage mattered so much. Thank you for highlighting that. I think, now, there are ways to designate someone in that role (besides marriage)? I’m not 100% sure of that. If not, I’d like to see that done.
For the original topic, I’m very much of the view that love should not be tied to consumerism of any type. If I were to get married, it would certainly be a courthouse wedding, with no rings or any of that; purely for those legal benefits.
In Canada, once you live with a commonlaw partner for a given number of years (I think its two or more years?) … the law basically identifies you as a married couple in many ways. I think the only things left over is medical rights, do no resuscitate and right to die issues after that.
We got married because otherwise her parents would get too annoying when we moved in together. We picked out rings without stones together and had six people present at the wedding.
It was like that for a year or two … then it turned into 30 … we wondered for a long time … but after a while, you both realize, I’m never finding someone like this again in this lifetime.
Sounds to me like they’ve made up their minds a long time ago and have proven their love for one another for over 30 years. I don’t think there exists a thing that could prove it better.
Never bought her a diamond
Never even bought a ring
Never even got married with a giant ceremony or big event
Been together for over 30 years, bought property and all kinds of things, traveled to over 30 countries. Still not married.
¯_(ツ)_/¯
Same philosophy, but we did get married after we realized the legal protections and tax benefits were worth it. We just saw too much opportunity for our very dissimilar families to pull some nonsense if someone became ill or incapacitated.
We snuck into a park (that requires reservations for ceremonies) with some friends and that was that.
The rings are simple and inexpensive, and also rarely worn. We know what we’re about.
Congratulations … we get along with each others families very well now and there’s no worries about anyone pulling anything on us (although there is always a chance that may change) … but at the same time, everyone is now so freakin old that it almost doesn’t matter to anyone any more. We are seriously thinking of getting officially married, simply for the fact that this is the only way to deal with medical rights issues for spouses and partners.
Yeah. Both of us depart from our families, and didn’t want to be in a position where we could have a parent or sibling try to “pull rank” about some medical decision, or have to worry about assets.
Congratulations
Thank you. This was in like 2020 though so it has been a while :D
Congratulations on 5 years then … no better way to show you love someone than to stick with them for that long.
Thank you!
Same boat.
At the end of the day, marriage is a government contract.
Why the fuck would I want the government involved in my relationship?
Because the government is involved in all sorts of other things, including, for example, who’s allowed to make decisions for someone when they’re sick or dying and unable to make decisions for themselves.
And if you want to make those decisions for your partner you need to have some kind of government involvement in your relationship, either a legal marriage or some other waiver / power of attorney / whatever.
I’ve heard stories from elder gays about the United States before gay marriage was legal. Back when someone who’d been with their partner for decades couldn’t even visit them in the hospital when they were dying, because they weren’t legally the next of kin. When a young gay man could be in the hospital with AIDS and their estranged, anti-gay parents could swoop in, deny medical care, pull the plug, and take his body away from his partner and community to cremate him and flush the ashes, and because those parents were the young man’s next of kin no one could do anything to stop them.
Not to mention finances, inheritance, taxes, power of attorney, all the messy government stuff that becomes much simpler when you have a legal marriage that automatically provides it.
I think of what could happen if my partner was in the hospital and their parents were their next of kin and I’m very happy for our legal marriage.
What you described is exactly why Equal Marriage mattered so much. Thank you for highlighting that. I think, now, there are ways to designate someone in that role (besides marriage)? I’m not 100% sure of that. If not, I’d like to see that done.
For the original topic, I’m very much of the view that love should not be tied to consumerism of any type. If I were to get married, it would certainly be a courthouse wedding, with no rings or any of that; purely for those legal benefits.
Congratulations
In Canada, once you live with a commonlaw partner for a given number of years (I think its two or more years?) … the law basically identifies you as a married couple in many ways. I think the only things left over is medical rights, do no resuscitate and right to die issues after that.
We got married because otherwise her parents would get too annoying when we moved in together. We picked out rings without stones together and had six people present at the wedding.
Congratulations … best kind of wedding in my opinion
Didn’t buy her a diamond or a ring, but I did buy a marriage certificate and signed it at the location of our first date. We’re pretty happy with it
Congratulations
Beautiful … you don’t need a public ceremony to display how much you love someone
“still haven’t made my mind up” aaa relationship 😭🥀💀
It was like that for a year or two … then it turned into 30 … we wondered for a long time … but after a while, you both realize, I’m never finding someone like this again in this lifetime.
Why not just get married then?
Sounds to me like they’ve made up their minds a long time ago and have proven their love for one another for over 30 years. I don’t think there exists a thing that could prove it better.