My parents and I don’t speak at all. They’re very Mormon, and I’m incredibly gay. I was excommunicated at 15 and kicked out of my home - living out of a car (illegally) or on friends’ couches. My mom still occasionally reaches out to me and tries to explain that if I just don’t act on my “urges” then I can be part of the family again. So uh, yeah.
It’s made it very difficult to rely on anyone or really trust people in general.
Its so disgusting that religions use these cult moves like isolate or suppress or whatever. Always the Prodigal Son story, mhm, yep, keep tellin yourself that when there’s no supply left.
Well being disowned by my father when I came out of the closet really put a damper on things. And my mom passing away really didn’t help open the lines of communication either.
How has it shaped me as a person? My wife has to regularly reassure me that she loves me and is keeping me so there’s that. Also I’m on therapy waiting lists.
I think one of the key points of parent-offspring relationships is modeling. I didn’t have great parents and after some early struggles, I have learned what NOT to do. I try to shun violence, judgement, cruelty, substance abuse, etc for empathy, open communication, understanding, and friendship.
I find the fact that both of my parents are dead to be a huge barrier to a healthy relationship. At this point we really have stopped communicating. /s (not really though, it is just a fact.)
I wonder if Graveyard Counselling is a thing—it has to be?!
Edit: i feel sometimes (not sadly but not exactly gleefully either) this is the only thing that could ever work with my own. She’s too broken for now and I gotta fix me
Edit: this idea has legs…what if neither of you have to be dead either 🤔 What if the simulation/dress rehearsel is sufficient for some cases? Like this is it, if we can’t budge this will be the next time we attend to one another
Yeah they call themselves psychics.
I have emphatically not included them and I will clarify this has nothing to do with parapsychology bullshit. This is all very real and grounded in physical relaity and recognition of the poignancy of time’s finiteness and the limits of dysfunction tolerated by self-respecting people
Was on 'Nathan, for you`. I think he handled it well
Mine are dead, but in terms of things I tried to do differently with my kids, as a mom:
Did not just put them in whatever school and figure they’d be fine.
Tried to be more physically affectionate, with varying levels of success.
Tried to be encouraging.
She was a good role model in a lot of ways but was not very mom-like at all, and we were just too different to really get along, My dad I got on with much better, but he died when I was a teenager.
What do I think my kids find difficult about me? Stubborn, I would guess, and the older ones suffered when I stayed with my ex too long, I am sure that they must resent me for not leaving sooner, his anger he took out on them not just me.
My mom’s unwillingness to break with religion, or just not make it a requirement of the partners she picks, even though christian men all treat her like trash. She refuses to see how bigotry is a feature of the church, and not a bug, because she herself is pretty tolerant.
I guess I kind of consider my step dad to be my dad, though that will probably change if he ever figures out I’m trans, or have dated men. My biggest issue is his bigotry, as mentioned above.
These things made me pretty awful and biggotted myself for a while, until the stress of being a self hating queer broke me, and now I’m pretty anti-authority, and anti-bigotry.
I have a pretty good relationship with my parents but they are both very hyper critical of everyone, which has led not only to me being anxious that everyone is constantly judging me but also me being very critical of strangers and that’s a habit I’ve been trying very hard to break.
For me it’s boundaries. My mom especially has problems recognising when I’m setting boundaries, or doesn’t notice how serious I am about them. But I’ve learned to better communicate them and to act in a healthier way when they are overstepped (don’t get angry, but explain again that it’s a boundary etc.) which has improved our relationship a lot.
They’re everything. What socery is this aha :)
Family is very religious and conservative, I’m very atheist and liberal. Got kicked out three times or so, one fight that almost got me charged with domestic assault after they harassed my wife and kid.
It’s made me more careful of people in general, because I’ve realized that it’s not just them- most people have things they believe wrapped up in their sense of self, and criticizing or questioning those things will be interpreted as an attack. I’ve gotten very good at identifying those beliefs and easing the conversation over them lightly without digging into my own opinions on the subject, then moving on to other topics. It’s uncomfortable, but luckily I have a partner who has almost no beliefs like that, and who will bluntly and cheerfully argue about basically anything lol
The hypocrisy on one side, and the disillusionment on the other…
