Asking because I just sat through a family feud within earshot at a local coffee joint. Parents giving advice to son, who looked 30ish, all quite civil, full of the ‘can I speak for a minute’, ‘your minute is up’ and so on, with some ‘when we were your age’ and ‘you must/ will learn’ etc. Mum ended with ‘i don’t have to justify anything to you’.
My dad stopped once I got out of high school, but mum seems to chime in from time to time. I’m well into my middle age.
When should parents stop parenting and just let the kid fail/ thrive on their own? I just feel sometimes the parents are the problem, regardless of good intentions.
In what you described the issue is shared, imho. I mean, the parents are… doing what they probably have been doing during all teh childhood of their son, which is not their ‘kid’ anymore if he is that old: he is an adult. And, as an adult, I would say it’s more than time for him to put limits. If parents/family can’t respect those limits, it’s up to him to help them, more or less gently, understand it’s not for them to fix those boundaries.
I left my family, and their advice, and their morals, and their hypocrisy (things 'like when we were your age/we would never have done/and so on), the second I was able to. We all have a single life to live and I realized at a young age I did not wish for my parents to get a say in how I chose to live mine, they already did enough damage during my childhood.