I’d take a sluth demon. A succubus that doubles as a sloth demon. Monogamous, requires equal amount of cuddling and sex.
Sorry, but when you say sluthdemon. The only thing i can think about is a demon that forces you to watch as it solves crime using deduction all the wile making you look too stupid to have solved it.
Yes, I’d like a big tiddy sloth demon taking care of me, pretty please
Can I get the man version of that? Kthnx
My wife and I discussed something along these lines today. She said I would probably enjoy a nerdy gamer girl. I told her I’d end up pretty much like the sloth demon victim, completely unchallenged and lazy.
That’s not to say a female gamer couldn’t be a fulfilling, awesome girlfriend for anyone, but I know it wouldn’t be ideal for me.
I learned in my 20’s that my ideal mix of interests with a significant other needs to include:
- Shared interests that we already loved before we met, that we can connect and bond over for that initial spark.
- Her interests that she introduces to me, and my interests that I introduce to her, so that we can build on something together and appreciate how the other has enriched our own lives.
- Some new interests that we can both pick up and grow in together, and further reinforce our enjoyment of spending time together and growing together.
- Our own individual interests that never really click with the other, so that we can each continue to do things that reinforce our individuality and self identity distinct from that particular relationship.
For me and my wife, we already loved food and dining and cooking before we met each other. Easy thing to build early dates around: “have you been to so and so restaurant, I’ve always wanted to check it out.” We also loved a lot of the same TV shows (mostly single camera sitcoms like The Office, Arrested Development, etc.), and had easy couch time for quiet nights in.
She introduced me to style and fashion, and I appreciate a lot of the things about clothing and accessories and even makeup that I never bothered with before the age of 35.
I introduced her to football, and we enjoy going to games together.
We both introduced each other to a lot of musicians, TV shows, movies, and other entertainment we now both like.
We both picked up an interest in wine, whiskey, cocktails, and learned about this stuff together (and have planned memorable vacations centered on the places where people produce that kind of stuff). We also really learned to appreciate architecture and interior design, going as far as to go on tours and visits to specific places and cities and museums for these types of things. We became really particular about silverware and dishes at some point, too, which was a bit of an extension of our love of dining and our love of interior design.
And we still like our own stuff. She likes golf and tennis. I like basketball. I like all sorts of techy nerdy things that she has no interest in. She loves certain types of books and movies that I just do not care about. Our fitness routines have basically no overlap (yoga and spin versus powerlifting and Crossfit-style functional fitness workouts). She likes home improvement and garden stuff and I barely tolerate occasionally doing a few things around the house.
And it works. Having both distinct parts of your life and shared parts of your life seems to strengthen the bonds overall.
Don’t threaten me with a good time!
Ah the dream
Demon? Dude this sounds like heaven.
This implies your only worth as a human is what you produce or “accomplish” by other’s standards. It’s not for me personally, but there’s very much validity in a life spent enjoying life, and not just for a future success.
still if they are targeted they could derail human achievement, promising nasa worker? too bad you got slothed
Explains my life tbh
isn’t the embodiement of the sin
So it’s not actually a giant sloth with big titties like I was imagining? 😩
This sounds like a big win. I wasn’t going to cure cancer or be president anyway. At least with the sloth demon, I don’t have to worry about having a job to pay my bills. The demon’s got it covered.
This is my life. Plus 2 cats.
Try 3 cats, it’s the shit.
My sloth demon wants me to play the new mario kart and eat curries. I have married her.
Thats called a Blerch.
https://theoatmeal.com/comics/running
Eat the whole cake, eat the whole goddamn thing. You earned it somehow
“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” - J.R.R. Tolkien
I feel like a sloth demon would take it a step further. You’d be enticed to napping, until one day you wake up from a nap, your face is wrinkled, every one of your friends has forgotten you, you’re alone with only the sloth demon. Your life has been wasted away lying in bed.
Remember that time you said you were gonna travel? You were gonna go to Japan, you said. Too late now. You’re too tired, you don’t have any money. All you have is the Sloth Demon.
One day, your girlfriend calls you for your third nap of the day, and little do you know, you won’t be awakening from that nap.
Your funeral has no attendees, at most you’re a minor headline on a social media post about mental health. Your girlfriend? Gone, gone to find her next victim. Sloth Demons may not go through as many victims as their lustful cousins, but they get every last morsel out of them.
Remember that time you said you were gonna travel? You were gonna go to Japan, you said. Too late now. You’re too tired, you don’t have any money. All you have is the Sloth Demon.
That’s the wombo combo of depression and poverty.
You write that as if it’s abad thing but I’m sold already
Demons are meant to be tempting!
Now that is worth being scared of. Thank you
So, an energy vampire
I’ll take this one for the team, please send this demon to me.
Doesn’t this imply that the world would progress as nornal, just with demons taking care of everything and all the humans just chilling at home? (Assuming the demon actually works and doesn’t just conjure up whatever it needs to take care of you)
