They treat service people well.
There is a term in kendo called hikitate geiko. I won’t get too technical, but in essence, it is an attitude employed by a senior who spars with their junior that helps elevate their skills. It is more difficult than it appears, because if you make it too easy for them, they don’t improve, but if you make it too hard for someone, they won’t learn anything either; and at the same time, you yourself won’t benefit from the spar. By practicing good hikitate geiko, you are able to elevate your partner’s skills, but at the same time, refine and perfect your own technique.
I find that this attitude is beautiful in every aspect of life, and isn’t easy to accomplish; I think this is a huge green flag when someone does that well, regardless of the situation or context.
This. Someone who is willing to come down to my ignorant level in a subject and reward me for my tiny effort and interest in it, is an immediate win in my book. Though it is a hard line to cross without going into smirky/mansplaining territory.
For example, Veritasium videos are always fantastic, but I can’t get over how the man smirks when he explains concepts, despite the fact that it’s his natural smile.
Finding that sweet spot is incredibly difficult, and requires a lot of attention and skill.
In kendo, if I make it too easy, not only the junior won’t learn much from it, but they will get frustrated and feel that they are being dismissed or looked down on. If you go too hard on someone, you are crushing their spirit and demoralising them, and they don’t get the opportunity to learn or improve. The problem is that such environments tend to be festered in some dojo, so if you see that, best to look for another group.
The point of hikitate geiko is to give your partner both a boost in confidence and engagement, giving them opportunities to attack you, but if they don’t immediately capitalise on them, move on.
As for applying it outside the dojo, I think you have to want to share your enthusiasm about something, and when you get them hyped about it like you, it’s an awesome feeling. When you give them the confidence to try something, or ask a question, they are trusting you and it’s great. I also love seeing someone when something they have been trying to do just clicks.
I find that when learning a new skill, there is a point of psychological friction, because you feel that you suck, and just aren’t getting it. Hikitate geiko helps the junior not feel like they suck, it feels awesome and it increases morale, which makes learning both fun and effective.
I think you have to want to share your enthusiasm about something
This, the enthusiasm sells the authenticity of it, and people are more willing to listen.
I have a friend who teaches high school history and has traveled a lot. She’s great at this! I feel like i can talk to her about almost anything and she never makes me feel stupid.
I do this when I play MTG or board games with people. I’m not like professional MTG good or anything but it is the kind of complex system I tend to do really well in. I want to have fun too though so a lot of times I end up trying to control the board in a way to make my opponent think about specific challenges to overcome to defeat me. Gives me something to do that isn’t obliterating them and they get to have an engaging game out of it too
That’s exactly it! This matches the spirit of hikitate geiko beautifully. You’re both helping your opponent understand the game better, creating opportunities for them to challenge themselves in engaging ways and helping them feel awesome while doing it, which is a great motivator to improve and play more in the future.
Do you feel this makes you a better MTG player in general when you do it?
I’d say it depends who I’m against but overall yeah. There’s always something to be learning in that game and if someone completely new to the game finds a novel way around a challenge than I’ll tuck that away in my toolbelt as well. I also have to know some really obscure parts of how things work together to orchestrate the kind of board state I’m talking about so lots of research goes into it.
I actually do this mostly as a way to learn about new people; see how they approach problem solving and how they socially interact with me (MTG is a space I’m comfortable in so I end up talking way more than usual during play); but I have a couple close friends we mostly try and out shitpost each other with ridiculous gameplay. And then sometimes, on a rare occasion if someone is rude to me, I can take off the training wheels and use my finely tuned bullshittery to make them pick up their ball and go home lol
That’s really awesome! There are more similarities than I thought between our hobbies.
If a person carries their trash with them until they stumble upon a trash bin they instantly have a plus in my book.
That’s such a low bar, i feel sorry for your past
It is, but it’s pretty alarming how many people I see not doing this :/
I wouldn’t consider them people if they don’t have the cognitive ability to hold onto their trash to throw into a trash can.
I’m pretty sure you can train a crow to do better
next step is holocaust
I mean I agree with you, but yet, I still see humans do it all the time
You might be surprised
The simple virtue of being able to genuinely express these words; “I don’t know”, “Sorry” and “Thank you” (or any derivative of these*).
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They’re self aware. Understand the difference between subjectivity and objectivity. When they encounter someone different, they don’t judge, see it as a learning opportunity. Put thought into their words. If you ask them a question, you can see them carefully thinking about it.
Everyone judges, it’s how you act upon that judgement that is the mark of your character. Anyone that says “I don’t judge” is either full of shit or means that they are self aware of their biases, conscious and subconscious and don’t act upon their judgements.
Judging people is a natural part of being human and impossible to not do.
And to add to that, all the characteristics listed their green flags - characteristics used to judge people.
I’ve spoken about this with my girlfriend. She mentioned that we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover and I get what she was trying to say but everyone judges and to a certain extent everyone should judge. It’s how you act upon that initial judgment and your willingness to append it that shows your character.
Kindness to animals. Just all animals, generally
Expresses disagreement with people talking shit about others when they don’t have to
Treats everyone with respect regardless of what their perceived status is.
Actually intelligent, reads books, sense of humor, actually listens.
I love my ereader but I miss the days when you could actually see what someone was reading. It was like a book recommending a person
Someone reading a book doesn’t mean the book is good.
I have a book written by a mentally ill person I met, just because I wanted to have more insight into his mental state.
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Comments about reading
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Completely misreads my sentence
😂
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“good” book is highly subjective. It depends not only on your tastes but also on your general mood while reading it. Same for film and art. I saw the Mona Lisa in person and was completely unimpressed.
When they call you because they’re at the supermarket and you might want something.
Cutting the bullshit and getting straight to the point. If I wanna play games I have a playstation.
They talk about Pokemon in the first date and will defend gen whatever while still calling it shit.
First Gen, the game is fucking broken as fuck. But it’s also the most memorable and iconic one. I think with little tweaking in types and mechanics in Gen 1, you could have the perfect pokémon game.
But since it was the first, a lot of shit wasn’t discovered and explored.
They can laugh at themselves. Not to the point of self deprecation, but they can acknowledge when they’re wrong or dumb
When they pay back what they owe without being reminded.
