These apps seem to encourage ‘transactional’ behaviour. Less so in my experience irl. Best formula someone gave me was: get involved with something you enjoy, a club or activity. Meet people through this. Get to know them with the pressure off (as you’re enjoying whatever the activity is). Meet people through activities to form proper relationships, was his take.
I’d love to know if this has actually worked for someone.
Never worked for me. Most things I’m interested in have few women doing it, and I’m very shy anyway.
And, if there are any, they’ve probably heard it all from all the other horny dudes with limited self restraint.
On the other hand, the dude above you got his wife hooked on Babylon 5. In retrospect, not joining the scifi club was probably a mistake.
Yes. I met my now-wife playing D&D. I created a new group a friend asked if his friend could come. Turned into watching Babylon 5 together outside of the game.
So I SHOULD get that ugly bedsheet with Londo Mollari from aliexpress after all?
Worked for me. Met my wife through online Backgammon.
Doesn’t work for me. When I’m enjoying my activities it is just that, not being there with a plan B the back of my mind. I get that this is not what you are saying, but I find it more comforting to keep dating and activities separated.
The trick is, there is no plan B. You go there for fun activities, and friendships and relationships develop naturally.
Dating apps incentivize bad behavior and the fuckers who run the dating apps do nothing about it.
Because if you actually got a relationship, you’d no longer be using the app.
I once heard a woman say that dating apps basically turned dating into shopping. To be clear, she was criticizing the effect that the apps have had on dating and society. It takes something that should be deeply personal and basically commercializes it to an experience no deeper than choosing your next purse, and if that purse has issues with being treated like stuff, well, guess I don’t need that purse. Ofc, I’m a dude, and was lucky enough to avoid all this bullshit, so I can’t speak from personal experience.
Never been ghosted, but I was on Tinder for 4 years (no, I didn’t swipe every day) before finally finding someone. Went on like a date a year because most conversations just fizzled out before even meeting IRL and I’m not the most attractive physically, which kinda plays a role in the total amount of matches. I might have had about one a week on average.
3 months in and so far this is the most amazing woman I’ve ever dated and I hope this is not a temporary feeling, because rn I feel like she’s an absolute keeper and my friends seem to agree too.
Point being: keep your options open, have accounts on popular dating apps just in case you accidentally swipe right on your soulmate. But don’t hope for anything because you’ll be disappointed. It’s all random chance and your chances are low so things take time.
Should’ve unmatched her or ghosted the second she canceled the first date. She laughed at anon because he has no self respect or awareness; she saw him still thinking he isn’t just a number after she clearly blew him off twice in his face.
Apps have a weird power structure. They make anyone feel like a beggar. Social hobbies are a better way to meet people if you live in a reasonably populous area. I personally have interesting accessories to give people an in to a conversation that traditionally works fairly well when at an event or in public. Homemade rings, and interesting watch, inordinary boots, a cool lighter, a fountain pen, antique thrifted jackets, necklaces made of fossils, anything stand out that someone can comment on if they take an interest in you starts a conversation and doesn’t require begging the upper hand for attention like dating apps do.
So glad i met my wife before all this shit.
Yeah, I remember having similar experiences with online/app dating and it was exhausting to find a connection, let alone actually going and meeting them in person. I got lucky and went on a date with someone who I actually was able to click with and is currently my girlfriend, but thinking about it now, it seemed almost impossible
We’re all sociopaths now.
We may have different experiences, but the result is the same for me.
