These apps seem to encourage ‘transactional’ behaviour.
Less so in my experience irl.
Best formula someone gave me was: get involved with something you enjoy, a club or activity.
Meet people through this.
Get to know them with the pressure off (as you’re enjoying whatever the activity is).
Meet people through activities to form proper relationships, was his take.
I’d love to know if this has actually worked for someone.
Yes.
I met my now-wife playing D&D. I created a new group a friend asked if his friend could come. Turned into watching Babylon 5 together outside of the game.
Doesn’t work for me. When I’m enjoying my activities it is just that, not being there with a plan B the back of my mind. I get that this is not what you are saying, but I find it more comforting to keep dating and activities separated.
These apps seem to encourage ‘transactional’ behaviour. Less so in my experience irl. Best formula someone gave me was: get involved with something you enjoy, a club or activity. Meet people through this. Get to know them with the pressure off (as you’re enjoying whatever the activity is). Meet people through activities to form proper relationships, was his take.
I’d love to know if this has actually worked for someone.
Never worked for me. Most things I’m interested in have few women doing it, and I’m very shy anyway.
And, if there are any, they’ve probably heard it all from all the other horny dudes with limited self restraint.
On the other hand, the dude above you got his wife hooked on Babylon 5. In retrospect, not joining the scifi club was probably a mistake.
Yes. I met my now-wife playing D&D. I created a new group a friend asked if his friend could come. Turned into watching Babylon 5 together outside of the game.
So I SHOULD get that ugly bedsheet with Londo Mollari from aliexpress after all?
Worked for me. Met my wife through online Backgammon.
Doesn’t work for me. When I’m enjoying my activities it is just that, not being there with a plan B the back of my mind. I get that this is not what you are saying, but I find it more comforting to keep dating and activities separated.
The trick is, there is no plan B. You go there for fun activities, and friendships and relationships develop naturally.