• 2 Posts
  • 28 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
Cake day: July 1st, 2024
  • RumorsOfLove@lemmy.dbzer0.comtoGreentext@sh.itjust.works•Anon thinks there is a bicurious double standardEnglish
    1·
    13 days ago

    I also notice the thing about men sitting and women serving. It bothers me a lot, even though it could be an innocent division of roles in a different context. It clearly serves to re-enforce women as subservient. Our society has wronged women: we can do better in this generation.

    Gender differs in all sorts of societies throughout the globe and across time. There are a lot of objectively healthy ways to not conform to gender standards…

    But society is not objective. I pay little costs like an occasional rude comment. Career costs from judgy people, and those who would prefer to work with judgy people. And life-threatening costs. If I go to the wrong neighborhood at the wrong time wearing the wrong clothes I could be attacked. These are my risks to take. How can I blame another person for staying away? (Personally I like a little more courage in my romances with women.)

    …

    I have spent years fighting my own internalized homophobia in order. I am much happier and healthier when I make safe spaces for my authentic self to relax and enjoy. Its not easy. Its an ongoing process. Its something I struggle with every day and every night. How dare the moderator (who temp-banned me) casually accuse me of homophobia! It cheapens my fucking struggle, dude.

    Though I commend the noble urge to protect the reader from homophobic sentiment. The proposition ‘Being gay is weak.’ is already on the table. Everybody is asking themselves if it is true and whether if it applies to them. It demands to be considered.

    I’m pushing back on the stereotype that homophobes are young-earther types (who take the bible literally). My parents used to be atheists, but now they are capital T Twits. Them and their thought-leader Elon Musk are Social Darwinists. There are some bad assumptions that traditional gender norms are closely tied to the realities of healthy sex and survival, and evolution. Such as the vomituous ideology of Jordan Peterson. It needs to be debunked. Not censored.

  • RumorsOfLove@lemmy.dbzer0.comtoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world•I avoid approaching women in public because I believe it's inappropriate. My parents say that it's a necessary skill. Who is right?English
    5·
    6 months ago

    Think carefully about the pressures of the situation. For example, a smile is usually good, unless they are on a job where they are made to smile by their employer.

    Essentially, you are right that its inappropriate to approach somebody without business. But getting to know somebody is legitimate business.

    You are also sort of right that it has to be an appropriate context for chatting. But it doesnt have to be explicit. If you cross paths in a public place, 1 critical factor is how quickly you are both moving. If she is hurrying, not good. If she is relaxed, that is good.

    Pay attention to the other person. The other person is the unknown factor, so its alright to focus on understanding their perspective. And its never as simple as interested/not interested. Empathy is clutch here.

    Attention is an offer. Some people, especially from sick cultures, can be really mean when they reject an offer. Dont take that personally, its really about how disappointed they are with what they themselves receive.