I dont care HOW many stewardesses you’ve bagged!

PENGUINS CAN’T FLY!

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But she really isn’t. There is nothing special about her in a world where you see 30 of her simply going out for groceries.

I like to pick my own shitty clothes and dinner, at least then it isn’t rubbed in my face.

Dude, hustle up to the bar and drink 13 beers like the rest of us, and fall asleep on the plane during boarding, after you’ve reminded the gate attendant that you’re mentally handicapped.