I finally decided to start doing a sport. But to make sure I wouldn’t have to discuss it, I picked archery.

Weird.

The original: https://youtu.be/FjBDbTwIFs0

The main thing is probably the reference to the Swan’s lake which has traditionally (for many, many decades) been used to replace tv programs whenever a top official died while the succession was sorted out. That was to make sure nobody would say anything out of line.
So asking for the ballet is asking for putin to be replaced, which is obviously bad.

They’re all going to be "dammit what time is it? Anyone got a calculator? "

So that’s why they have those 48 hour protection deodorants, it’s for the Magic players!

You just have to remember to cut off the little tip so you can go pee with it.

Are you even description?

Ok, That’s technically still the renaissance.

Do the blackboards in the US also say “breathe in, breathe out, repeat” so that half the class doesn’t just die?

No that’s silly, there’s no guarantee that they could read that.

Did renaissance even know about tea?

Lies!

Fair point, but this is presumably about the 99.9998% other straw users.

Fast food implies fast drink, you’re not supposed to let it soak in there like it’s a hot tub.

It does voices too?

I was an incel when I was 12, I got better when I was about 16 or so.

“Cat safe” means that you have to chew on the power cord.

“This morning, they took away a mother. The mother left behind a one-year-old child,” Maria Alejandra Oceja said in Spanish.

Obviously, this child would have become a criminal, possibly even a terrorist, or even (gasp) a democrat… clearly, there was no other way.

The same founding fathers that apparently thought it was a document that would probably be replaced after a few decades? (Or is this something everyone says that has no basis in reality? )

Well, you know…

“Waves vaguely”

But zip tying toddlers has always been a staple of American lifestyle!