I was hoping for Cards Against Humanity to do it, but this is just as good.
I initially thought this was going to be an onion article, but here we are. Class.
This is great
“…they [Infowars] strive to make life both scarier and longer for everyone, a commendable goal.”
What a fantastic read.
Man, the Onion really is a national treasure.
It’s America’s Finest News Source!
As for the vitamins and supplements, we are halting their sale immediately. Utilitarian logic dictates that if we can extend even one CEO’s life by 10 minutes, diluting these miracle elixirs for public consumption is an unethical waste. Instead, we plan to collect the entire stock of the InfoWarswarehouses into a large vat and boil the contents down into a single candy bar–sized omnivitamin that one executive (I will not name names) may eat in order to increase his power and perhaps become immortal.
I’m a little worried that, like the Colbert Report, the weirdos won’t realize we’re making fun of them.
Does that matter?
It’ll be fucking hilarious but it’s not gonna break them out of their bubble. Not even if they give a speech at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner, assuming we ever have one again.
I don’t know that they can be broken out at this point. We’ve reached near-Heaven’s Gate levels. They just haven’t all drank the poison at the orders of Dear Leader yet.
Ladies and gentlemen, great patriots all across this occupied country of the former United States of America- it’s time now for us to take the fight to the devil directly.
Last night, I woke up and God told me it was 4 a.m. I was literally told, “Go look at the clock. It’s 4a.m. Get up, and go look at your phone.”
Four AM! I’m like, This is really God! and God goes “Yeah. And I told you 45 seconds ago, now 15 countdown!”
And by the time I was like, bluhbluhbluhbluh okay it’s been about 3 so 12, 11, 10, 9… and this happened! On my children! And right at zero, bloop! Four-oh-one! And I’m sitting there while I’m looking at the phone, pissing, at 4:01 going My God! Literally directly communicating with me in space live time!
And then he told me to sell to all the patriots the Final Supplement! And it will give us the power to fight the Devil because we’re gonna win! So go over to drjonesnaturals.scam and buy all of them! Give them to your wife! Your daughter. Your dog- you don’t want to leave Fido here with the Satanic Globalists, do you? They’ll be on sale for the rest of the month.
-Something Alex Jones may or may not have said mixed with something Alex Jones may or may not say in the future.
They still have the dinner, Trump just doesn’t go.
That’s an honest question. There was a recent F.D. signifier video on edgewood films and if satire works or not.
To save you an hour: While yes, satire is funny and informative for those of us on the left, and they show a great degree of well made art which you should enjoy, those who support what’s being satired aren’t impacted. Rather they ignore the overall message and cheer on the negative aspects being made fun off. Which wouldn’t be a problem if it didn’t amp up terrible aspects (violence against marginalized groups, for instance) and thus end up getting people hurt and/or killed.
I don’t know that a YouTube video is the best way to determine that. I’d like to see some peer-reviewed evidence.
Agreed, but it’s still a good watch. . He has a relevant degree (sociology?) and was a social worker for a while so his perspective is still worthwhile.
Sure would be nice if social science were complete, and we could say with scientific certainty the effect of any given social activity.
Here are a couple published articles that attempt to get at that question, more research required tho.
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/07255136231154266
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/00936502211032100
If nothing else, it’s diverting views and revenue from whatever genuine right-wing media they’d be watching otherwise.
Holy shit, did that really happen?!?
Beautiful! I can’t wait to see what they do with this. They could even do what Fox does and just repeat Onion articles on Info Wars, and then report InfoWars nonsense on the Onion.
I guess the guy that bought the Onion was actually being honest about loving it and letting it grow.
I hope they didn’t pay more than a sack of onions.
i would give each of them 1 billion dollars
This is the most patriotic thing I’ve heard in quite some time!
How wonderfully appropriate!
The Onion’s parent company, Global Tetrahedron
Eee! They named the parent company after the evil corporation parent company in The Onion Movie! That makes me unreasonably happy! 😂🥰
Through it all, InfoWars has shown an unswerving commitment to manufacturing anger and radicalizing the most vulnerable members of society—values that resonate deeply with all of us at Global Tetrahedron.
What’s the desk?
Nice.
I need to know that Dan and Jordan will get access to the desk.
Lmao no fucking way. That’s hilarious
This is so unreasonably fantastic hahaha
Goddamn, I was sure I ate the onion on this one.
This is probably the best possible outcome.
