The solution is to stop drinking any liquids like 4 hours before bed and pee right before bed. That way you can just become dehydrated overnight which means that when you wake up you will want water desperately which will help you get your ass out of bed too
Liquids aren’t even the issue. Salt is. Every time I gorge myself on some smoked salmon before bedtime I inevitably wake up in the middle of the night. Apparently getting rid of some salt is somehow now important than a good night’s sleep. My bladder isn’t going to corrode just because I have slightly more salt in it. Let me fucking sleep!
Your entire nervous and vascular system reading this be like am I a joke to you
Condom catheters, my dude. It’s a catheter you don’t have to insert. Just gotta get used to pissing the bed again.
I’ve mastered the art of going to the bathroom to piss without fully waking myself up
Bedwetting?
Please teach me your ways
He calls his bed “bathroom” and just pisses himself
Keep your eyes open only enough to not bump into stuff. Close when not needed
Use a bottle (don’t do this).
Dude, that’s the dream.
Wet dream
It’s called a catheter! Does not everyone use one every night!?!??!? /s
That’s me every single night
stop having liquids 3 hours before bedtime.
After I wake up and take my nightly midnight turd sesh (all y’all lucky piss losers) I drink about as much water as I pissed away. What’s the point of having a fancy water bottle if you don’t use it and keep it full of ice water 24/7
You can’t tell me what to do!
You should be fine as long as you wear those magical pants to sleep in as well.
Pssshh, then how would I drink myself to sleep.
![[ExtraFabulous] Why God?](https://lemmy.world/pictrs/image/d475b6b4-c22f-431b-8935-473704f7f4b2.png){kind=link}