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  • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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    1 month ago

    To make toast, follow these simple instructions:

    1. partially unplug the power cable from the toaster and pinch its cheeks.

    2 plug the cable part of the way in and apply two or three cocktail fork fulls of semen. Place a dish of butter nearby.

    3, Plug the cable into the top of the toaster, plug a different cable into the bottom. Insert a slice of bread into one of the slots. Swap the butter for a small dish of ketchup.

    4 Swap the ketchup for a jar of duck sauce, fondle the bread.

    1. Swap the jar of duck sauce for a scalpel and the tweezers from a swiss army knife. Tell the bread “Ah c’mon you.”

    2 Unplug the toaster completely, get a Pez dispenser, and turn the bread…sideways?

    1. Plug the toaster back in, get a different dish of butter, pinch the bread.

    2. Scrape the bread with a fork on a worried tray near a concerned butter knife.

    Serve on a plate with losenges, coffee, whippets and coffee.

    Lemmy aggressively wants to correct my numbering scheme. Could we just scrap markup formatting entirely on this platform? It fucks up more than it helps.

        • lurch (he/him)@sh.itjust.works
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          1 month ago

          😄 All movies about time travel (so the Terminator franchise as well) are extremely inaccurate and far fetched for sci-fi, so you’re not wrong. Still, it’s very entertaining epic action.

          However, in this scene he’s basically doing an audio CAPTCHA to determine, if he’s speaking to another Terminator.

          My point is (meant as a joke): You agreeing with that picture raises the suspicion you’re also a machine. (Maybe even a Terminator. Who knows.)

          • WastingCommentSpace@sh.itjust.works
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            1 month ago

            We are all machines. But if i were to shill any movies or franchises about ai domination i would shill the tv show “NEXT” from fox as well as dune. As those are thousands of times more accurate and realistic. The terminators alone are inaccurate. And we are all actively living thru the events prior to the butlerian jihad irl. And most people arent aware of this which is personally far more entetaining than terminators ever could be.

  • Pothetato@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    So hard to decide on the spread. Butter? Ketchup? Mustard? Might need this cotter pin at some point…and a swiss army knife… eh butter is fine. Et voila.

  • Mango@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    I like that I can tell it’s AI because the toaster itself isn’t copy pasted. There’s something different going on with the wire for each one.

    • zalgotext@sh.itjust.works
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      1 month ago

      I like how in the second step two, the toaster becomes wireless, and in the second step one, it transforms into a serving platter

  • glimse@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Third one on the second row got me good. Huh??? The bread won’t fit in the toaster sideways???