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- cross-posted to:
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This is what we’re training LLMs on.
“AI,” what should I do about being constipated?
Painfully stretch your rectum to gaping in order to accommodate your constipation.
That is called impaction removal, and I have done that to people for fun and profit.
As a CNA? Your RNs were lazy. They shouldn’t allow CNAs to do digital disimpaction. In some places even RNs aren’t allowed to do it, only providers.
Edit: looked it up and it gets so dumb that some MDs will consult surgery to do a digital disimpaction in teaching hospitals, lol.
Eh, they were definitely lazy lol.
It wasn’t unusual though. I don’t think I ever saw an RN do one.
One nursing home had us doing foleys, and I’ve started IVs and other stuff that was absolutely not supposed to be done by CNAs.
Nuts. It’s something that really needs an order (standing or otherwise) in their charts nowadays because it’s considered invasive with a risk of vasovagal response which can lead to a code(for those with fragile cardiac status) and many RNs aren’t even trained to do it safely (but let’s be real, if you’re not sticking your hand up there you’re not going to cause a bowel perf). No shortage of lazy RNs in LTC though.
Amen to that. To be kinda fair, most ltc staff develop a sense of “fuck it” and either get lazy or quit entirely. It grinds people down, so the field ends up relying on new hires that are burnt out from other areas, which just completes the cycle
Your rectum stretches anyway. It’s actually kind of like a big stretchy poop bag. You’re thinking anus. -nurse
Thank god for that.
Imagine if LLM were made in Oxford in the 1950’s.
It be trained on the fucking Iliad and Shakespeare.
Thankfully it’s being trained on some real intellectual discourse like your rectum getting stretched out by rock hard shit instead of that garbage
Thou art wise as thou art beautiful
Shall I compare thee to an overstretched rectum? Thou art less loose and more temperate.
I doth say, that would verily be low-key lit
I mean, we’re only a few years away from some hemingway books being in the public domain. We could have had some LLMs trained on that.
Reddit certainly did have it’s moments, didn’t it?
have its* moments
Ah, just like Reddit now!
Reddit was better when the community did actually enforce basic grammar.
yeah I sort of miss that … getting shittymorphed too was always a joy
He was here when the app shit show first happened
I’ll always remember the kid who broke both his arms and his helpful mom.
Was that because of the same reminders over and over, every other thread?
This lady claims to be an expert but doesn’t even mention the poop knife?!
Somebody should write a small book about this. You could put it in the bathroom and read it while taking a shit.
For those of us that pooped before smart phones, there was a book series called Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader. I could totally see them have a section dedicated to this.
- Lather
- Rinse
- Repeat.
“The Art of Defecation - How to turn your anatomy into a brown (f)art factory”
It could have an entire chapter just on fiber maxing:
https://i.imgur.com/zmtuVg1.png
Another could be on shit polishing with the mythbusters method.
The Fart of the Deal
Would assuredly be a step up in quality
I once held a shit in for a week. Literally 7 days. I was in the hospital and forbidden from using the toilet and using the portable bag toilet in the room with 6 others was not gonna happen so I held it in. Nurses gave me laxatives because they were concerned but I beat them too.
After finally being allowed on the toilet, I basically filled the bowl to the top and clogged the toilet. Yes, it hurt. I now know why and I’m never doing it again.
Maybe that no poop challenge guy has tips for next time.
I think the question OP didn’t want to ask was, “does all of this dick in my ass affect my poops?”
I never realized that this process is basically a biological cold extrusion.
TIL my butthole is a PlayDo’h Fun Factory…
I felt that.
God bless nurses explaining things in simple term a child can understand.
I mean -1 for no mention of the poo spoon.
Spoon? You mean knife?
No no, that’s toilet stuff. The poo spoon is a classy device to elegantly remove rock hard turds from an anus.
One of life’s simple pleasures.
That’s nice, dear.
Great
Very fitting to my current um, situation
just hold your poop in
But now, from a medical professional, so you know it’s legit.
