I need a citation for this paper ASAP

A buddy of mine has a PHD in Cajun Fusion. Turns out, harnessing the power of the sun is only slightly more complex than a good gumbo. Who knew?

The only reason aliens won’t invade Earth is the Hollywood machine accidentally created the most amazing gaslit propaganda program and now they’re convinced that one young Earthling will discover a fatal flaw in their battleships or their biology and save the planet in a stroke of luck and perfect timing that destroys their entire race.

“Rural America contains the greatest military strategists in the galaxy! Let’s just take some asteroids when they’re not looking and move on.”

UFOs are just masculine coded Astrology.