Russian President Vladimir Putin has suffered an emabarassing setback as his feared Satan 2 nuclear arsenal failed four out of five missile tests, according to arms experts and satellite imagery from the launch site.

High-resolution satellite images of the launch pad at Russia’s Plesetsk test site, where the RS-28 Sarmat intercontinental ballistic missile exploded, shows extensive damage.

A crater approximately 60 meters wide at the launch silo at the Plesetsk Cosmodrome in northern Russia, along with visible damage in the surrounding area that was not present in images taken earlier in the month.

  • Soup@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    I’m sorry the hwhat?!

    I know that a nuke would literally create a hell on earth but there’s no way you can name the fucking thing Satan and not be the bad guy.

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Extremely angry at my military for naming it’s unlimited genocide machine “Big Evil Monster” rather than “Widdle Fuzzy Bunny Wabbit”.

      Almost don’t even want them to use it anymore.

      • Soup@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Can just give it a simple code. We don’t need fun names for this stuff.

  • ms.lane@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Try to copy Ukrainian missile from 58 years ago

    Fail

    Second greatest military in the world!

    • Bizzle@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Second greatest military in the world

      I think they might be second best in Russia by now lmfao

    • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml
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      10 months ago

      Try to copy Ukrainian missile from 58 years ago

      When both Russia and Ukraine were part of the USSR?

      Second greatest military in the world!

      The USSR hasn’t existed for >30 years, since then, Ukraine and Russia have done little but feed on its corpse. Does anyone honestly think modern Russia has a better military than China?

        • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml
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          10 months ago

          The USSR couldn’t have achieved a fraction of what it did without all its SSRs working together.

          Hell it probably wouldn’t have survived getting invaded by every country with a military after WWI without both Russia and Ukraine.

      • YeetPics@mander.xyz
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        9 months ago

        Ever consider rooting for a team that isn’t fascist?

        It can be great fun, trust me.

  • LouNeko@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Really hard to adhere to quality if money is being pocketed at every corner and then spend outside the hellhole you created.

  • wheelsbot@lemm.ee
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    10 months ago

    I’m sorry, the what missile? I know there’s already “hellfire” missiles, but proclaiming a sequel to Lucifer Morningstar seems a bit silly.

  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Russia used to have some of the most advanced rocket science labs and physics programs in the world.

    This is a truly sorry state of affairs for a country that has been strip mined from within.

    • InvertedParallax@lemm.ee
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      9 months ago

      I would be absolutely terrified of it.

      If I lived in Russia.

      Thing could blow up and throw radioactive material everywhere.

    • chellomere@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Not so sure. What if these 4/5 nukes explode on the launch pad? Even if this is in a remote area you’ll cause some damage to your own country.

      • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml
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        10 months ago

        Most nukes are designed such that they only create a nuclear blast when detonated electronically.

        We’ve had nukes fall out of airplanes and explode, or nuclear-tipped missiles explode in the silo, without a nuclear blast.

        • Anarch157a@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          All of those happened before the modern safeguards were adopted by the US. We’re lucky none of them went super-critical. We just don’t know for sure if the Soviet leftovers Russia has were upgraded to the same atandards.

          • alcoholicorn@lemmy.ml
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            10 months ago

            All of those happened before the modern safeguards were adopted by the US.

            Which modern safeguards are you talking about? There’s been ~32 official broken arrow incidents between 1950 and 1980, and multiple safeguards were tried during that period. Modern 2 point detonation safety goes back to the early 60s

            We just don’t know for sure if the Soviet leftovers Russia has were upgraded to the same atandards.

            We do know the soviets had their own share of accidents. I wasn’t able to find any info on soviet nuclear weapon design safety mechanisms, but I feel like we’d have seen at least one nuclear blast if they didn’t have them.

    • would_be_appreciated@lemmy.ml
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      10 months ago

      Yeah, this is the wildest headline. “Don’t fear it, it only works 20% of the time!” Both the US and Russia have somewhere around 1700 known deployed nuclear warheads able to be launched from air, land, and sea. 20% is still 340 nuclear bombs, all of which are substantially larger than the ones dropped in Japan.

      The fucking audacity to downplay nuclear war.

      • irreticent@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        I’m always curious about anti-NATO people. What is it about NATO that you don’t like? I’m not very familiar with exactly what they do, but my understanding is that they are a defensive organization. They wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for Russia’s expansionist goals.

        Maybe I’m misinformed. Why the NATO hate?

      • YeetPics@mander.xyz
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        9 months ago

        Calling something that’s not good to have delivered to you after a figurative evil being… yea buddy that sure is some propaganda.

        You act as if the actual ‘weapon’ is designed to re-seed old growth forests and clean aquifers instead of vaporize a sizable chunk of people/buildings.

    • Agent641@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      US tested a Minuteman III missile out of Vandenberg earlier this year. It was not carrying a nuclear payload. It’s fairly common for countries to test missiles. Some countries broadcast their intent publicly so as not to accidentally trigger a retaliatory launch. Others don’t broadcast publicly, but they do communicate via the good-old-boy net for the same reason.

      • rottingleaf@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        This may be off topic, but I absolutely loved reading about Minuteman III guidance system.

        And unlike all those “missiles by subscription and good behavior” that many big countries sell to smaller countries, it doesn’t rely on any satellite system or external corrections after launch.

        BTW, I wonder what’s inside Russian ICBMs. People often say that all the Russian big cool projects in defense after breakup of the USSR are just finished Soviet projects. If that is true, there must be an awfully complex, but geek-porn-ish thing inside, possibly with analog and maybe even mechanical elements. If that is not, it’s still interesting. Right now yes, Russian military engineering relies on many foreign (NATO countries produced in fact) components. But that didn’t become a thing immediately, so I wonder how did they solve problems.

        • InvertedParallax@lemm.ee
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          9 months ago

          So, basically their post-soviet tech is all unfinished Soviet designs the soviets could never get to work, with a few western chips thrown in to do the math and control they could never manage.

          • rottingleaf@lemmy.world
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            9 months ago

            the soviets could never get to work

            No, just what was in progress.

            “A few western chips” for military grade applications would be not too easy to get for some time, and USSR and then Russia could produce them, and the process of plants producing such closing was very slow and lasted till late 00s. It’s not the difference between a project stalling and moving further.

            It’s the most recent stuff we hear about relying on Western components.

            to do the math and control they could never manage

            USSR with all its shortcomings did have functional nuclear shield, a space station, domestically produced computers (clones of Western things, yes, but that was a strategic decision, a stupid one though), a space shuttle analog that was arguably better. So “never manage” is usually not the reason for its failures. Economic inefficiency and administrative rot are.

      • KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        10 months ago

        ok so they’re not “testing nuclear payloads” then. That’s good to know. I was confused as to what they meant with the title.

        If they ever do test nuclear payloads, thats going to be a nightmare.

        • ours@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          The US at least regularly tests its missiles. They shoot from California toward a Pacific island into a painted target.

          Modern ICBMs are insanely accurate.