I recently heard a man say, you should not focus on things that make you sad. There are certain things in life that are always gonna suck, there will always be certain things which you can’t change, there is no use worrying about them or hating them.
Unfortunately, I am in a system that handicaps human growth, you don’t/can’t grow up to your full potential when you live in systems like these. I can’t leave anytime soon, and the hyper-realization that had I been in a better system that fosters growth, I won’t be as miserable (emphasis on the as here) as I am here. I am hyperaware of certain things. Small things, they steal my mental peace, it can be someone honking incessantly on the streets or anything loud or unnecessary at any time of the day. Reddit shows me some weird stuff when I enter it and that distrubs my peace of mind! I have become very sensitive to these things.
I am sorrounded by all things negative in life, I have all the reason in the world to br resentful and ill-tempered, but resentment is a very dangerous thing, I don’t want to be resentful. If I can’t he happy here, I just want to be in peace! How can I do this? Venting about my situation helps but it’s temporary and it seems to be doing more damage than good.
P.S.: Please don’t start with how the American system is bad, it probably is, but there are worse things. I will literally be willing to lose a leg to get there. Also, might take sometime to reply, but I deeply appreciate your responses.
If you’re on social media, leave it. It’s a drain on your mental wellness.
I guess you are right. It would help.
Also need to block certain the open page and other news on reddit (I need it for other things)
Leave Reddit as well. I moved to Lemmy to free myself from the negativity. Lemmy may not have the same user base size but that tends to keep the crazies out.
This was the best decision of my life.
World’s on fire, grab some marshmallows and a stick.
World wants to make you miserable, be happy out of sheer spite.
Listen to more ska: yeah we’re going to hell, but I have a trumpet.
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lose a leg to get there
and go bankrupt or die from it when you arrive
I didn’t mean just get there, I meant have the problems you guys are having. I.e., your problems are better than mine.
I can “get there” even now it was want to, on a tourist visa or something, I meant more like swap places
Im not american. No way I would move to that hellscape
That hellscape you are talking about is the place my people are desperate to get to. Do they think the streets are paved with Gold there, most don’t, but they realize it’s much better than the current condition they are in, I was referring to that.
Well, I wake up happy every day because I don’t really think anyone ‘deserves’ anything, including physical existence. So I am happy to be physically embodied, so happy nothing hurts most days and that I can move freely and breathe freely. I just kind of think anything above constant agony is above the baseline of existence.
I do think you can deserve things like pay for work, you can earn things. But even so, so many people get so much for nothing, and so many others get nothing for giving so much.
I will wish for your success beyond your expectations.
Focusing on things that makes me sad actually helps me. Before I go to sleep I usually have a meditative dialogue with myself about the things that made me upset during the day, and try to deconstruct the feelings surrounding the “object” of my pain. Sometimes I also just vent to myself, and tell myself that it will be alright.
I think there’s a few things in your response that trigger alarm bells.
First of all, it sounds like your environment is awful. Can you try to change things just a bit? Step by step? Identify what exactly it is (if it’s family, try to get some distance to them (try to not hang around them if you can, etc.), if it’s friends, try to go out and do your own thing for a bit and maybe try to approach new ppl, if it’s school, talk to someone you trust and maybe figure out a solution where you can get some help there.
In general if you can, maybe therapy could help. If it’s a permanent thing, and that’s what it sounds like, a therapist can help you find solutions to deal with it.
What’s kind of odd to me is that you say it’s the little things that contribute a lot. Now having a bad day is not odd, but if it’s one of the reasons you have a bad life rn, that’s odd. I would look into why this still affects you in that magnitude. This something else you could talk with a therapist about.
I know that if you have good mental health usually these small things shouldn’t throw you off, they are just a bit annoying. That’s basically how usually ppl deal with it.
Now mind you I’m def not judging, I let small things get to me as well, but I’m in therapy for related issues and that’s why I know I will improve.
And the thing with social media: basically, there’s infinite good things and infinite bad things on social media. But the response to bad things is much stronger than it is too good things, that’s why social media has a bias to display bad things (news, etc). So either limiting social media usage can be good, or you can try to curb news and stuff to get less of a skewed view. I did the same - I completely removed my reddit account (which tends to have a more pessimistic user base) and on Lemmy I started unfollowing a lot of news communities. It’s just more healthy for me to see more neutral and positive things.
So yeah I hope I could help you. And always remember, as long as you believe it will get better, it will. Your brain has an amazing ability to reinforce positive thinking patterns if you concentrate on them and this in turn makes you behave more positively towards others and therefore can actively help you on your conquest to change your environment. Wish I could link you studies on this rn but I can only give you the good ole trust me bro guarantee.
Good luck on making a change, I believe if you do you can be a big positive influence for others :)
This sound a bit like depression, but I am no medical professional.
Imagine all the input you get every day both positive and negative. When we are depressed we do a worse job at filtering out the negative.
If this is how you feel all (or most) of the time for a prolonged period, I would consider talking to your doctor. Antidepressants can help a lot. They can take weeks to months to be effective, but they work.
If you are sceptical about medication, it does not hurt to read about it and how they work.
Anyways, I hope things improve for you!
Listen to Jordan Peterson.
I recommend starting with his course called Maps of Meaning which I believe is still available on youtube.
lol
Also, if your current set of philosophical and cultural assumptions has left you depressed and devoid of hope, maybe consider going against the crowd.
I don’t know. Because there is definitely an overlap in the venn diagram of Jordan Peterson fans and people who are inordinately angry at women, trans people, “liberals,” etc. If “going against the crowd” is a driving force behind you finding your philosophy, I don’t think you’re in it for the right reasons. And that kind of toxic mentality does not lead to happiness.
Oh no, my life is going fine. I’ve got no anger against those groups. I’m driven and healthy for the first time in my life.
My driving force has been desperation to figure out my mental health.
I’m referring to those who are miserable and asking for help, then downvoting the answers they get because their friends wouldn’t like it.
I haven’t met anyone who’s in that venn intersection. Can you name someone who is?
You’re so far outside the box that everyone who disagrees is too small to be the big brain like you are.
Except not. So cut the crap. Downvotes are for said dishonesty.
Seeing as we don’t know the same people, I can’t. And you know that, so it’s a pretty Jordan Peterson-y way of trying to win an argument.
Hey, man. If you got something positive out of his mumbo jumbo, great. But his stuff is kinda like horoscopes in that way. You can…kinda take whatever you want from it. Because it’s mostly overly verbose, purposefully complicated nonsense. And the mindset you’re in when exposed to it can change its effect. So, when shared among right wing incels and “alpha male” circles, it very much has the effect of fostering hatred toward women and trans people.
He spouts pseudo science and fills it with buzzwords on hot button issues. He cloaks his nonsense in the favorite topics of those who do harbor hatred towards women, transgender people, etc. He gets to remain an arm’s length away from the far right while catering to them by pretending to be a “neutral” “academic.” But those people are his bread and butter. While you may or may not be a part of that, like I said, he caters to them and uses vague enough bullshit to let those kinds of people justify their hatred. You can’t deny that he’s positioned himself as “going against the status quo”—hell, you basically said so yourself. And hat is the exact type of persona that attracts the ironically “anti establishment” right wingers. A truly stupid hypocritical group of people. They claim anti establishment, while actually harboring authoritarian beliefs.
My point is, his schtick is to appear “neutral” while spouting exactly the kind of shit bigots need so they can feel justified in their hatred. You may have not fallen prey to that, but plenty of his fans do. And anyone who opens up to that stream of pseudoscientific “information” from him is flirting with the far right pipeline.
