1- Golf Ball. Tee shot to the forehead. I heard it before i felt it. “What was that?..Oh fuck!!”

2- I was helping a kid at special Olympics bowling who wore a hard helmet. No one told me he could be violent. He threw his head back and bashed me between the eyes. That the day i learned that seeing stars is a real thing.

Earlier today I tried to swat a fly with my car door, but since I was looking down at the fly I only managed to slam that door into my head with all my strength, stunning me for several seconds

I have 3 plates 16 screws and a plastic eye socket I got when I was jumped with brass knuckles

I was still growing and wasn’t aware of how tall I had gotten and jumped over a box in a doorway, I hit my head on the doorframe, woke up on the ground with a busted doorframe.

Classic. Dropped on head as a baby. Small fracture behind my ear. Fucked up my balance for a while, apparently moving just a little bit would cause me to get dizzy and puke. No permanent issues, but I blame it for my inability to ride a unicycle.

When I was twelve, I was bicycling downhill on a residential street, and while I was talking to a friend beside me I slammed into the back of a parked jeep at full speed. Looking back on it, I definitely had a concussion, but I think the spare tire on the back spared me from the worst possibilities of my bad decisions

Fell out of high-chair at age 2, faceplanted and bit through tongue with the only 2 teeth I had at the time. Now have a second uvula on the bottom of my tongue.

Fell off of rocking chair at age 5, smacked forehead on concrete basement floor and now have permanent skull deformation on left side of forehead.

Wacked in the back of head with mop handle by brother pretending to be Jon BonJovi at age 5, 5 stitches and small divot in the skull back there.

Hit on head by rock thrown by neighbor kid age 6, no significant damage.

Fell off bike akira-sliding into driveway at age 7, pizza-faced for a month.

Fell off footpath bridge headfirst on to rocks age 9, 6 stitches administered at a vet’s office because christian day schools are wild as fuck.

Head accidentally slammed in car door age 14.

Suckerpunched in a mugging at 17.

Hit in head by rock that fell off a passing dumptruck age 20, 8 stiches and was extremely lucky that I caught it on the second bounce.

There’s probably more that I’m forgetting (because you know, 10 head injuries.)

When I was in elementary school there was a kid that kept bullying me. One day I was walking home with my older brother, and the jerk was chucking rocks at us. We both kind of ignored him until he pelted me in the side of the head, leaving a nasty ass welt. My brother chased him down after that, picked him up, and threw the jerk and his skateboard across the road. I didn’t get fucked with again, and later on in high school the guy apologized to me.

I don’t really talk to my brother anymore after he pulled a gun on my friend he was dating, but I’ll always remember the time he defended the fuck out of me.

I fell on my head in a roller derby bout once. It must have looked pretty ugly because the refs stopped the jam immediately; But, in anticlimactic fashion, my S1 did a great job protecting my noggin.

I had a bit of a headache but no concussion.

Diamond, technically. It’s not the hardest thing in existence but probably the hardest my head has made contact with.

Sledding as probably a 4-year-old. Ran straight into a metal picket fence post. Had quite the goose egg.

When I was seven or eight, my siblings and I were playing a game where we put the clothes hangers with the clippers on the ceiling fan, turned it on, and see where they flung. One of them headshotted right into me.

First and last snowboard lesson. Long time ago. Never again.

probably a hit i took during football that i mysteriously lost memory of

Swimming.

Miscounted strokes while doing backstroke. Right on the soft spot of the head.