“I don’t want to sleep with you.”
is often
“I don’t want you to exist.”Sometimes it’s “I want to sleep with you, but I don’t want to want to sleep with you.”
Or “I want to sleep with you but I’d rather you die than have anyone find out.”
Well there isn’t an inherent connection between those two ideas. So I take it you’re looking for reasons to be suspicious
Not from me it isn’t!
I need someone to explain the male gaze thing to me better than the last person did. They made it sound like it’s bad to like what’s good.
I like women, I sleep with cis women. I do not want to sleep with trans women. By my personal assessment I’m somewhat transphobic and need to work on that.
Checkmate, lemmy.
Everybody has their preferences and we often make fun of it.
- She wants a wealthy partner, she’s a golddigger
- he wants a gf with big tits - mommy issues
- he doesn’t want a gf with a penis, he’s a big piece of transphobic shit
See, it’s just the way we communicate
But all 3 are correct. Number two is a bit of an overstatement, but “I need a gf with big tits” is definitely hella objectifying and devaluing another human.
“I need a gf with big tits” is definitely hella objectifying and devaluing another human.
We’re complex beings and there might be some preferences in a matter of sex and appearance. I used to be a good friend to a closeted married gay. He loved his wife, but he has decided to divorce her and become openly gay. He had his preferences, but it would be much easier if he accepted these preferences and had chosen a partner according to these preferences. Same with tits I believe.
NGL im super into tomboys and genderfluid people. But the idea of having sex with someone who has a penis is off-putting to me. Idk
That just means you have a sexual preference lol
Lucky for you, some trans people who are AMAB get surgery to change that penis into a vagina or something else. There are also plenty of gender fluid or nonbinary trans people who are AFAB and don’t have or want a penis.
However, maybe get to know someone first and decide if you are attracted to them as a person before reducing them to their genitals. There are a lot of ways to have sex with trans people, and if you’re into them, they’re into you and they happen to have a penis, I’m sure you two can figure something out.
Yeah I’m not saying I dont want to have sex with AMAB people, quite the contrary. And having an emotional connection is super important to me anyways. I just don’t think I could figure something out I’d actually be happy with when my partner still has a penis. And I’m not sure if this is wrong, but I don’t have a lot of time or energy to meet many people, so I prefer kinda pre filtering people to figure out whether its worth it to get to know them. Kinda the way most people just filter by male/female, I guess.
You seem like a good and reasonable person, and I’m glad you’re aware of your feelings and not reacting super negatively towards the existence of trans people over them. I’d recommend thinking through this a bit more sometime.
Sure, most people are only into men or women, but most people don’t start off getting to know someone before sex is on the table with a “by the way, what genitals do you have?” That feels reductive and is a major red flag to most trans people. It’s similar to how chasers who pursue trans women with a penis as a fetish. We’re so much more than our genitals.
In case you ever end up in sex talks with someone who either at that moment comes out as trans or mentions what genitals they have, handle that conversation delicately. Many of us and don’t want the genitals we have but surgery is too expensive, but we also don’t want to have sex with someone agonizing over our genitals or don’t want that part interacted with at all if we do. This is also why many trans people date within the trans community to alleviate these kinds of issues.
Yeah that definitely makes sense to me. Thanks for your explanation. Being perfectly honest, I’ve never dated a trans person, I just kinda suck at dating in general. It’s something I’m working on in therapy and I’ll keep your advice in mind for whenever it becomes relevant.
What are these letters?
AMAB is Assigned Male at Birth meaning typically born with genitalia interpreted as a penis but is sometimes due to parents/doctor choosing if the baby’s genitalia is not a penis or vagina.
Likewise, AFAB is Assigned Female at Birth meaning typically born with genitalia interpreted as a vagina but is sometimes due to parents/doctor choosing if the baby’s genigalia is not a penis or vagina.
No thanks.
I’ve always contended that you shouldn’t care about what turns someone on unless you wanna fuck em.
Exactly - if you don’t want to date a trans person don’t. If someone conceals it, that’s not an issue with them being trans, that’s an issue with them being dishonest. It’s ok to dislike dishonest people.
Weird how they feel the need to announce it instead of just having it. Almost like announcing it serves a social function, and it is obvious if you frame the same phenomenon through another bias:
“I only sleep with blond haired blue eyed white women”
Also fuck you have no idea how often I hear something about how trans women are unfuckable after turning a guy down.
Removed by mod
While true, there’s also a lot of people who say things along the lines of “gay/trans people are ok just don’t try to have sex with me” which is more of the target of the meme
I am being harrased by the women lobby
[Laughs in pansexual]
I’m a woman so I was never in a situation like this. I have more than few trans friends, including my neaphew god-father (that used to be his god-mother) and the problem with this meme is that the 👍is never the answer the comunity gives. They are indeed always very angry and are usually the first ones to say “transphobic”. As I told my friend I think that we should use the word Transphobic with more care since there are a lot of really hateful people in the world that do indeed want to hurt you guys,.
If someone just comes up to someone out of the blue and says they won’t have sex with you there’s nothing wrong with being angry or telling them to fuck off… I’d do the same if someone came up to me and said that and I’m not trans. The situation in the comic is not about someone’s preferences, it’s about people who constantly bring up their preference out of the blue for no reason other than to use it as a weapon. You’ve never experienced that problem, neat, good for you. A lot of trans people do.
