I’ve actually skipped work just to help a homeless guy get his beard trimmed. Bought him pizza too. Kinda hard to get anywhere in life when you look like shit.
Be kind to the homeless, they just need a helping hand here and there.
What would you do?
Hell no.
Are you u all living in rosy mc Rosewood Santa’s little safe harbour everything is fine and dandy rainbow world? Or are you all lying through your teeth?
Letting someone in your home with clearly visible psychological issues, in your circle of trust, filled with those you hold most dearly and packed with your dearest memories, that place… And then letting someone in you know nothing about?
Hell fucking no.
In the real world letting some rando homeless dude in your home has a 50/50 chance of ending up in crazy town. There is a high probability that you, yours or your stuff get fucked up. I cannot and will not accept those odds. Even a 2% chance of shit happening is a risk I’m unwilling to take when it comes to my kids.
Would I help him? Maybe. It depends on some factors (like can I at that specific time, did I help him out earlier, do I have cash on hand) Would I let him in? No f-ing way.
So real answer: money: maybe, eat & drink: anytime. Clothes: I’ve got some you can have, no problem. Bath and clean: nope. Never.
This is my thought as well. Even if things go well this time, who’s to say they will not feel entitled to come back. Maybe with or without your knowledge.
I’d send them away otherwise I might start getting a regular visitor to my house asking for stuff.
In public, I’m happy to give money or food.
While I do agree with you. Your wording could be a little bit better. You seem like a glass half empty kind of person, and I can respect that. However your statement makes it seem like all homeless people have some kind of dangerous psychological issues, and that is a wild accusation. Mental health problems come in all shapes and sizes
However your statement makes it seem like all homeless people have some kind of dangerous psychological issues, and that is a wild accusation.
He never said anything like this, and specifically called out pretty low probabilities throughout his comment.
I hate linking comments. Sorry, but it took me a bit to type all of that up. So I beg your pardon
Thank you for your opinion, every individual is different. Homeless does not inherently equate to psychological issues nor drug addiction.
Sometimes people just had their house destroyed from a hurricane or tornado or whatever, and insurance done fucked them over, if they even had proper insurance in the first place.
Sorry you’re getting downvoted, but you got my upvote. Thank you for having enough of a mind and soul to care. 🤗👍
I wouldn’t let him in, because my partner has very strong feelings about anyone in the house, but if he doesn’t mind waiting outside he’s getting a lot more than a sandwich and water. A full meal is a very rare thing on the street and some bread and Ham isn’t a meal. I always have left overs or prepped meals ready and he’s eating until he’s full. Water is the same, as much as he can stomach.
I’m no barber, but I can trim my own beard so I’m sure I can manage his. If the stars align, I have a real stylist down the street and I’d happy to ask if she has time for a clean and cut.
Most importantly, I’ve got contact info for shelters and food banks. When if I can’t do anything else I can help find someone who can.
Honestly, I didn’t let the fella in either. But I did bring my hair clippers out on the back porch, and made a point to trim both his beard and his head down short.
I’m not a barber either, but hell, there’s a huge difference between looking scraggly versus looking somewhat tidy. I did my best with the clippers, and the fella was very happy with it.
Then I went and bought us some pizza and a couple of beers. Why beer? Because I’m generous sometimes, plus beer is cheaper than water in my area.
The food and water part, no problem. Strangers in my apartment is a hard no! Sorry.
Fix him a sandwich, get him some water, and tell him I don’t let strangers in my house.
I’ve done just that, twice in the twenty odd years I’ve owned it. Before that, my dad owned it and had different rules about who had access to resources, so I would have followed his, if it had arisen.
But! I would offer to bring my spare trimmer and hook him up on the porch, or a shave if he wanted. That used to be part of my job, and I miss the hell out of personal care. I’d also offer to let him use a mirror instead though.
I’m hard core about no strangers in the house, period, ever. Don’t care why they want in, don’t care who they are, if I haven’t said it’s okay, nobody comes in. Hell, there’s people we know that aren’t allowed in. I’ve got one cousin in particular that will get his ass beat again if he shows up. But someone we don’t know, that I haven’t vetted? Hellll no.
Shit, I’d rent a motel room for a homeless person before I’d let the cleanest, best dressed stranger in my house, and I’m on a fixed income.
But, I’m actually known to be a soft touch for food and beverage. It’s a thing. If I know you well enough to let you in, you will never go hungry at my house. If I don’t know you well enough to invite you in, I still won’t let you go hungry or thirsty, but I’ll ask you to move along with the supplies. I’d have to have my family be starving before I’d refuse basic food and water to someone.
I’ve got one cousin in particular that will get his ass beat again if he shows up.
Chuck? Is that you?
Sorry, but no.
I’m curious what you mean by fixed income.
Do you mean a non hourly salary? Is that is what you mean, why does it matter?
Fixed income is a general term for someone that can’t change their income because it is provided by a social safely net. In my case, that’s the US disability system, SSDI in specific. You get a monthly income and that’s that. There is some wiggle room for other income, but if most of the people on SSDI could do enough work for that, they wouldn’t qualify for SSDI in the first place.
But it also refers to retired people on social security, and sometimes even people that get income from a pension.
In other words, the amount you get is not only “fixed”, there isn’t a way to increase it reliably.
There in the US, even the maximum SSDI amount you can get is below the poverty line. We’re lucky in that there are three adults on various SS programs, so we do have a little disposable income at the end of the month, but we’re talking maybe twenty or thirty bucks.
Thanks for explaining.
I always thought it exclusively meant that someone had retired and were on pension but I doubt there are many if any that old on Lemmy.
The term doesn’t really exist where I live. Or at least as far as I know.
Yeah, lemmy skews towards middle aged and lower for sure lol
But, no worries, you asked a genuine question, politely :)
I’d help them then immediately go online and beg for praise.
I don’t know if this is supposed to be sarcasm or not.
Keep in mind, not everyone knows how to use the internet or even has access to it.
I’d give him a snack if he was desperate enough to come to my door. Wouldn’t let him inside but might come out to chat with him. Just to be sure they are well enough to carry on. Like, I didn’t have to call for medical assistance or something.
It’s easy to say no when you’ve never been in that situation. I mean I’ve never been so out of it I’d beg a stranger to groom me but I have been completely on my own with nothing and no one.
Any homeless person with good intent would know that cold knocking someone and asking to come inside is a bridge too far. So if they were trying that shit they would most likely be competely toasted or having a serious mental episode. Even more likely they are trying to steal your shit.
I have had a homeless man come up to the door in an icestorm with no shirt on. The guy was soaked in alcohol and I did not feel safe. I did throw him a sweater, coat, and gloves because he could freeze but I was fucking terrified.
In my case, the ‘stranger’ wasn’t exactly a stranger anymore. Even though I had my own place to live with my family, I’d get tired of the home drama and I’d go ride my bicycle out to wherever my feet decided to pedal that night.
There were two particular homeless fellas that I’d sometimes stop and shoot the shit with for a couple hours or so. Sometimes they’d even buy me a beer, just to have a friend to talk to.
I never forgot their generosity. Never. I helped the older fella with a beard trim, some pizza, and a beer in return.
The younger fella had been an album producer in the past, so I found him a fancy green suit about his size. Dunno if he kept it, but last I heard he actually got him a place in the next city over.
Thank you on their behalf for at least trying to help keep them warm during hard freezing times.
“absolutely fucking not, and never come here again”
Sorry, but I’ll help people when I want to, on my own terms. Before you pile on, I literally just housed somebody for over a month, in the shitty one bedroom flat I rent. As in, they stayed on the sofa and only left on Tuesday. I also provided 90% of their food and gave them money to cover an outgoing debt payment.
It was a fucking huge inconvenience, actually. A helping hand is fine, but some people will happily take your whole arm.
Your last sentence strikes a hard truth, but I totally get you. Yeah, I ain’t suggesting anyone outright adopt a homeless person and wipe their ass every day and all, just saying that sometimes, depending on the circumstances and the individual, that it’s only proper to help for a day or three, within your means anyways.
I don’t even like opening the door to people I know.
Sandwich, bottle of water, directions off the property.
You mean directions towards the nearest shelters? It’s easy to tell someone to go away, but does it hurt you to try to help them locate proper shelter, instead of just tell them to go away?
I got kids, I’ll get you a sandwich and water while you wait outside but I don’t know them just like I don’t know any other stranger that showed up unannounced, that I would also not let in. If it was just me I have a higher risk tolerance, it’s going to be pretty close to zero when I have others who are dependent on me under my care. Sorry, not sorry.
Let’s say we’re in Arizona right now, hypothetical…
Let’s say it’s 120⁰F outside. You gonna leave the fella outside, only to die on your porch of heat stroke?
Edit: Ain’t that cute, I see I’ve been downvoted. Welp, if such a hypothetical situation happens, and someone dies on your porch in the heat, then you’d basically be guilty of negligent homicide since you could have helped, but refused to.
I’m not exactly a fan of having people die on my porch.
No I mean gtfo and deal with your own shit.
Hey, I ain’t mad, at least you said you’d help with the bare basics of a little food and water.
But what if it’s 120⁰F outside? What if they’re about to suffer a heat stroke on your porch?
Are you seriously asking if I react differently in different situations?
What if you were the person suffering in the heat? Should I open my door for you? Because if I could tell you were genuinely in need of help, I would…
I subscribe to a policy of cautious altruism, like a lot of folks already said. I need to keep myself and my family safe so probably not allow in the house, but I’d give food water, the hose, soap, shampoo, clean towel, and a change of clothes if I can. Maybe even some cash if I have it around to spare.
If I have a shed or garage I’d allow them to use it to change clothes privately and offer to wash their clothes if safe. They may have residue of drugs like meth on their clothes that I’m unable handle.
I’ve also got a decent amount of privilege to share.
Be kind, be safe
Also, for anyone reading through this thinking, “I shouldn’t give them money because drugs”
I use drugs to cope with chronic pain so I can get through a workday
I’m skilled labor and make a decent salary
The only things separating me from a homeless person were some “fortunate” family deaths providing enough inheritance to put me through college at a good time and some lucky networking
We should all be more humble and less judgemental of eachother’s choices
“I shouldn’t give them money because drugs”
I have a roof over my head, eat thrice a day, and have a loving family. Yet there are days when I want to drown myself in alcohol or weed. Who am I to judge a homeless person if they choose to do drugs and forget their suffering for a little while?
I always give money, if anything, to the few of them in my neighborhood. Whether it’s food , clothes, drugs or something else - they know what they need better than I know it.
I’m not exactly sure how to interpret all this, except I think you have a decent trustworthy soul, and care about others.
Yeah, I try to every day
Some days are harder than others, I ain’t perfect, I’ve caused probably as much harm as good, but I try my best
I think you need a digital hug 🤗
Be kind, be safe, and love thy fellow person. 👍
I’ve quite a few friends I’ve personally pulled out of homelessness, so I’ve seen how hard it is firsthand, I hope things are better for you
Things actually are better for me these days. Not great, but much better. I’m living in a decent affordable apartment now, rather than the old run down trailer park I came from.
Thank you for your kind words. 👍
I’ve had people occasionally help me along the way, and at my discretion, I’m glad to help others in return when possible. Pass it forward…
Several years ago, my mom started making care for folks out on the street. Some water, a bag of chips, a piece of candy. Little things like that. I started doing the same thing. It’s good to help those down on their luck in small ways. Even to to look at them and say “no, I’m sorry” when they ask for money, rather than to just ignore them. You are acknowledging them as a person. If we wish to make a better society, actions speak louder than words.
I also prefer the term ‘de-housed’ to ‘homeless’. I feel the latter places blame on them rather than the former which places blame on the society which has failed them.
I remember a skit by the late George Carlin where he suggested that instead of calling them homeless, that we should call them houseless instead, so yeah I get what you mean there.
Plow the golf courses and cemeteries! Give these folks a place to live!
Ah, I see you’re a fan of the late George Carlin as well… 👍
This is the first time I’m hearing plow cemeteries, and I’m not sure I’m on board with that. People usually spend time there to deal with grief and losing a little bit more of a dead loved one would be incredibly painful for a lot of folks
Fuck golf courses though
It’s a joke from George Carlin. I wouldn’t advocate for plowing old ones (although dead stuff makes fertile soil). Personally, I wouldn’t make new ones, but perhaps a middle ground is to make mausoleums wbere people can be burried vertically.
Fair, never heard that one, but I can agree with not making new ones
I think homeless is more fitting. at least to me, it’s a more emotional/painful word, which is a good thing. being homeless sounds a lot shittier than being dehoused to me.
That’s an interesting point, provided it motivates people to do something about it, rather than assigning a moral failing to the individual. I.e. they deserve it for their sins. In my mind, dehoused elucidates the lack of a basic human need: shelter. There is a solution, especially in the face of the greed of rent seeking.
Food? OK
Water? OK
The rest? No.
Had a dude come around in my neighborhood a few times. It was the middle of the summer and it can get above 100 where I live. Gave him pbj and some water because if was all I had at the time. He only asked for food and water. Haven’t seen him in a year now though.
I hope the fella is doing okay these days. Thank you on his/her behalf for helping them in a brief time of need. Even if that’s all you could do, at least it’s something.
People like you help me restore a few points in faith in humanity. 👍
IMHO: Always help out the working-class people if you can; the homeless and’middle class’ are the working-class.
You don’t have to let them in your home or do too much, but I would offer them a box with food, plenty of water, and a basic care package.
We all need to make time to join in helping our local communities. 1 hour a year is much more helpful than 0 hours a year.
Mantra:
“We should focus our actions, time, and resources on Direct Action, Mutual Aid, and Community Outreach… No War but Class War!”
Homeless or rich it doesn’t matter I just don’t trust people anymore. With that said though I will happily help guide them to resources and donate to shelters fairly often. I have some bad history with strangers so even though I’ve tried working through it there doesn’t seem to be much change.
You doing what you did is awesome and I bet really helped that guy with more than just a shave.
