Anti-dragon cream. Personal guarantee: if you’re incinerated you get your money back, no quibble.’
'What you’re saying,’ said Vimes slowly, 'if I understand the wording correctly, is that if I am baked alive by the dragon you’ll return the money?’
'Upon personal application,’ said Cut-Me-Own-Throat.
Why are you worried about that parachute? It has a lifetime guarantee.
Love some Terry Pratchett