I’m 42 and have known since I was 4 years old that I never wanted to be a mother. It’s seriously one of my earliest memories - I didn’t want to make my bed, my mother was exasperated with me and said “you’ll be sad you treated me so badly when you have kids of your own”… and I remember being just appalled at the thought of being a parent.
I just don’t enjoy children. I like peace, quiet, and order, and the freedom to do what I want without having to factor in children. Plus it looks super stressful to be a parent. I have 2 nephews and a niece, and while they’re good kids, their parents always look so utterly exhausted and overwhelmed. And I’m definitely not good at being an aunt - interacting with children just doesn’t come naturally to me.
Everyone told me I’d grow out of it. I had to fight to get my tubes tied in my mid-twenties (for real, I had to see so many doctors and had a botched Essure procedure at Planned Parenthood before I finally found an OBGYN who would take me seriously!).
I’m gonna have my uterus removed because of that. I’m much younger and although I have some pain during my period it’s not debilitating at all, so it’s not that much medically necessary.
It was also super easy to get a doctor to do it. I’m glad things are getting better in this regard.
I can’t wait to not have to deal with bleeding, pain, and libido killer contraception.
Even though I do want children myself eventually, I think those doctors are silly for wanting to limit the person from their wishes of no children. It’s bonkers.
“Oh, you want to do any <insert medical thing that is either somewhat reversible or not at all>? Why, we know better than someone who probably has already took years thinking about it!”
Medical gatekeeping is real. It’s annoying. It’s why abortion, fertility treatments (of many kinds), HRT, and so on, all honestly should be way easier to access with the person’s own consent.
They might argue, but what about the regret rate, the 10 people that according to some rag paper regret it for life. And then they promptly ignore that many 100,000s of people actually have been enormously helped by it, and that they won’t magically go away if you make it harder to access – you’ll just make it unsafer for them, because now they rely on trenchcoat abortions, poor surgeries, lack of safe medicine due to deliberate underfunding of training, forbidding life-saving medicine, etc.
We oblige no duty to breed. Instead, we have a plight to make life enjoyable for ourselves and for each other. This goes their way too.
I’m 42 and have known since I was 4 years old that I never wanted to be a mother. It’s seriously one of my earliest memories - I didn’t want to make my bed, my mother was exasperated with me and said “you’ll be sad you treated me so badly when you have kids of your own”… and I remember being just appalled at the thought of being a parent.
I just don’t enjoy children. I like peace, quiet, and order, and the freedom to do what I want without having to factor in children. Plus it looks super stressful to be a parent. I have 2 nephews and a niece, and while they’re good kids, their parents always look so utterly exhausted and overwhelmed. And I’m definitely not good at being an aunt - interacting with children just doesn’t come naturally to me.
Everyone told me I’d grow out of it. I had to fight to get my tubes tied in my mid-twenties (for real, I had to see so many doctors and had a botched Essure procedure at Planned Parenthood before I finally found an OBGYN who would take me seriously!).
No
regretsrugrats!I’m gonna have my uterus removed because of that. I’m much younger and although I have some pain during my period it’s not debilitating at all, so it’s not that much medically necessary.
It was also super easy to get a doctor to do it. I’m glad things are getting better in this regard.
I can’t wait to not have to deal with bleeding, pain, and libido killer contraception.
Even though I do want children myself eventually, I think those doctors are silly for wanting to limit the person from their wishes of no children. It’s bonkers.
“Oh, you want to do any <insert medical thing that is either somewhat reversible or not at all>? Why, we know better than someone who probably has already took years thinking about it!”
Medical gatekeeping is real. It’s annoying. It’s why abortion, fertility treatments (of many kinds), HRT, and so on, all honestly should be way easier to access with the person’s own consent.
They might argue, but what about the regret rate, the 10 people that according to some rag paper regret it for life. And then they promptly ignore that many 100,000s of people actually have been enormously helped by it, and that they won’t magically go away if you make it harder to access – you’ll just make it unsafer for them, because now they rely on trenchcoat abortions, poor surgeries, lack of safe medicine due to deliberate underfunding of training, forbidding life-saving medicine, etc.
We oblige no duty to breed. Instead, we have a plight to make life enjoyable for ourselves and for each other. This goes their way too.