I have been pro privacy and anti data harvesting for many years now, however it is becoming increasingly more difficult staying off some platforms. Mostly Meta.
Over the years I have convinced most of my friends and family to use Signal instead of WhatsApp. However, there are still chat groups that I am missing from, and trying to keep up to date with local events seems next to impossible without Facebook or Instagram.
Additionally, I am finding it more and more tiring to have the awkward “No I don’t have WhatsApp. No I don’t have Facebook either. Or Instagram, sorry. Do you want to try an app that you’ve never heard of to stay in contact with me?” every time I meet someone new.
I saddens me that it feels like the multi-billion dollar data harvesting companies are winning, but I no longer know if this is a hill that I’m willing to die on.
What are your thoughts on what we have to give up in our lives just to stay in control of our personal information?
It’s a hill I’ll die on.
Ive refused to use anything FB since it first launched and I wasn’t permitted to use it anyway (not that I cared).
I’ve never once been to FB intentionally. I’ve accidentally clicked a link, then closed the tab as soon as I realized.
I was sent an FB link the other day. Replied that all FB domains are blocked on my networks and devices.
Sometimes doing what you believe in comes with costs. Oh well. My life is for me, and if someone can’t be bothered to look outside their bubble, put in a tiny bit of effort, then I guess I’m not worth it in their eyes. Message received.
I even have friends who’ve complained how shitty SMS is for 20 years. I’ve offered multiple solutions, and they simply refuse to change. OK, not my problem when you message me and I don’t get it because SMS sucks and you refuse to solve the problem.
At the end of the day, you should follow your personal priorities. Everyone that wants to contact me easily uses signal, and I choose to live life without much contact with those that do not use signal. Sure, they can call me over the phone, that’s one way to reach me, assuming I don’t have it in airplane mode (it spends around 70% of its on time there). But, I am one of those people that don’t really care to know about anyone else’s life. If they want me to know they’ll figure out how to reach me.
My wife and kids contact me exclusively over session, as do my business partners.
Haven’t been on FB for over 9 years now, and about 7 out of WhatsApp, and I have not missed them at all, not even the first day without. Never had Instagram.
I killed my Twitter the day before the acquisition by Musk was completed, and enjoy my online time researching self hosting, interacting in Lemmy, and having a few laughs on Mastodon.
I feel my mental health has improved exponentially because of these choices. But you’re going to have to choose where it starts to be a heavy task for you, and I suggest you stop right at that point.
It can be a bit annoying sometimes, but there are solutions for almost anything, like alternative clients and frontends. I also think it’s important to remember that this is not an all-or-nothing situation. Every little bit of privacy you can preserve helps, even if you still have to use their services sometimes.
If your example is mostly about chat then Beeper might be a good option for you. The messages on FB and IG would still go through Meta, but at least you don’t have to install their apps.
Oh I hadn’t heard of Beeper. Thanks I’ll look in to that.
it’s not private, and could technically read and collect messages sent via e2ee services, FYI.
Good to know, thanks
If you have an always-on-and-connected device then you can self-host their bridges. It preserves e2ee because messages are de- and reencrypted on your device, and it’s relatively easy to set up.
Thanks, I do run my own server so this is a possibility
Man I got so excited about beeper but it just fails to log in to anything I try to set up. FB, sms, anything at all, it successfully logs me in and then hangs on the spinning wheel of death
I saddens me that it feels like the multi-billion dollar data harvesting companies are winning, but I no longer know if this is a hill that I’m willing to die on.
It is a very sad thing indeed :(
What are your thoughts on what we have to give up in our lives just to stay in control of our personal information?
I guess it depends whether you want to be reachable 24/7 on mobile or not.
With Signal and with things like WhatsApp and for that matter Telegram a phone number is only required to sign up. And you do not have to restrict yourself to one phone number.
Actually that is not correct because contacts syncing is another thing. If you are willing to have a private life without Meta and a second life which includes Meta Zuck it is technically possible. Buy a cheap smartphone with another SIM card for signing up and for syncing contacts and then link it to desktop apps that you can check a few times a day to check in with your friends via the Meta Zuck channels. The cheap smartphone can stay off unless you need to sync contacts.
Thanks, yeah I had thought about using separate SIMs to sign up but then, like you said, would still need to sync contacts.
Although I hadn’t really though about only using the desktop apps.
Stop trying to join them. Make a reason for them to join you.
I may loose some answers in searches since I only use DDG
I often do not read articles or information from websites if the gdpr popup isn’t solvable in a click but the site ask to click on a thousand toggles
Where I am at the moment, the lack of FB marketplace sucks
A lot of cultural info goes through Instagram here, so I have to be a bit proactive if I want to know what’s happening
I use signal or text when possible, but work is impossible without whatsapp
Do you want to try an app that you’ve never heard of to stay in contact with me?” every time I meet someone new.
email
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It’s easy, use a VPN and as many fake data as you can, also you can use an AI generated profile pic, if you need a phone number you can use a virtual number like TextNow app.
You are right on all counts.
Just not sure if “easy” is the operative word here.
Thanks, yeah I’m always on a VPN, but as you suggested, maybe nowadays it’s not about trying to live without an account, but having the account with generic/fake profile data.
Yeah the point it’s into giving them fake data, you keep using the service and they get fake stuff at exchange. Better than not using their service.
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What’s a town square. -American /s
Suburbia hell doesn’t install those. We have no public commons.
Thanks for your comment Deckweiss. To reply to your assumptions I’m not American and am definitely not young.
I’d be interested to hear about how your and your friends learn about local events without any access to the main channels that seem to be used by most venues, i.e. Facebook and Instagram, as I’d happily take some advice on this.
Also, as per my original post, it is not about meeting new people, that I have no problem with, it is about the inevitable conversation when they exclusively use WhatsApp to stay in contact.
Honestly, it sucks. I’ve been increasingly falling back on regular SMS, because a lot of people seem to prefer cutting me off to the slight effort of a different communication medium. I was thinking that everyone has a phone, but there’s a lot of resistance to using it in my age group.
Nobody I know refuses to use email or SMS. They might find it odd but usually don’t even bother asking. There are equivalent outside of Meta for everything I know, from ads (e.g CraigsList) to events (e.g neighborhood public calendar) so I understand the feeling but I’d argue, just like people who use Amazon for everything, it takes little trying to find viable alternatives and weeks or even days later you’ll forgot what Meta even was.
What is the cost of lies
I gotta say, I’ve been anti-social media since its inception. People used to bug me about not being on instagram or Facebook. But…when I was traveling I just kept in contact via email or via text with the people I actually wanted to stay in contact with. I don’t think I’ve ever really noticed a huge hassle.
Eternal vigilance.
