The ad itself depicted a mechanical crusher destroying artifacts of human creativity. A trumpet, guitar, sculpture, piano, drawing board, paints, a metronome, several analog cameras, a turntable, and hi-fi equipment were among the much-loved items yielding to the machine’s unstoppable force.
The absolute worst, most annoying thing about every Apple advert and the day-long adverts - the launch day events, is the freaking hyperbole.
(breathlessly exclaim:) The fastest ever. The thinnest ever. More cameras than ever! The most ever ever!
Breathtaking vividly bright Applewordsalad display technology
My coworker is fully bought in to the ecosystem, so I get the full experience every launch day. Listen critically sometime. Turn on your bullshit filter. It’s a fun game.
Why is thinnest ever placed in such high regard? Have you seen how ridiculous the new iPad Pro looks when the Pencil is attached to it for charging?
I think I’m in the vocal minority in that I really don’t give a shit about thin, especially if it affects performance, repairability, or battery life.
In 2007 I had a Gateway convertible computer. This thing was like 14 or 15 inches screen size, it had to have weighed 5 pounds with the battery attached, closed and without worrying about the battery’s additional thickness it had to have been an inch and a half thick. The thing is, it worked fine.
The Dell Inspiron that replaced it has one of those soft shell lithium batteries that inevitably bulge and stop the trackpad from clicking, there’s a fan that scrapes its housing because of how tight the clearances have to be…all so the thing can be about a half inch thick? Why?
They’re trying to beat paper
Apple popularised two things that bug the shit out of me in addition to everything you said. “on iPhone” “on iPad” just sounds utterly wrong. It needs to be “on the iPhone” “on the iPad”. Now everyone is doing it.
The other is " breathlessly we’re excited to announce/we’re excited to share with you/we’re excited!!!big fucking cheesy grin". The whole point of having that whole “excited” or whichever adjective you want at that point of the sentence is to prep you and let you know what you’re supposed to feel. If it’s that good surely you shouldn’t have to tell me what I need to feel.
It’s because they’re trying to instill in your mind that you’re getting into an ecosystem. A way of life, even.
“XYZ on the iPhone” just makes it sound like an appliance.
“XYZ on iPhone” makes it sound like it’s an ecosystem. An experience. Something to be part of.
It’s a very deliberate (though subtle) marketing choice that I believe impacts how people view the brand.