“Ay, you ever heard of Lemmy? Lemmy get your number?”
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This gives the highest ROI
You can pick up literally anything with this one.
A guy on Tinder sent my friend a Patrick meme that said “Is mayonnaise an ice breaker?” I, a big Spongebob nerd, told her to pick that guy. They’re married now.
The longest relationship I ever had started this way: we were at a mutual friend’s house with a bunch of our friends. I introduced myself, then sat across the room from them, in a big comfortable chair, and I fell asleep while looking at them. For some reason they thought this was charming.
“I could pick up girls even in my sleep”
Are you a beaver? 'Cos DAM
(shoutout to the absolutely fantastic Sophie Corrigan who creates a lot of really beautiful art for bad pun lines like this one)
I heard one in Spanish that I liked.
“¡Si cocinas como camina me como hasta las raspitas!”
If you cook the way you walk, I’ll eat even the scrapings from the pan.
Y’ever seen someone solve a Rubik’s cube in just 5 seconds?
Yeah, me neither.
“I’m here to apply for the position of your Next Bad Decision. My parents always said I was a mistake, so I think that makes me well qualified.”
That’s literally how I got my wife.
“What do you know about bionicles lore?”
Are you a plates in a drawer or plates in a cupboard kind of person?
I’m sure it’ll work one of these days.
cupboard, why?
No reason, it just says a lot about you as a person.
so, what can you say about me?
well for one that you’re probably taller than 1m20 :)
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People put plates in drawers? I don’t think I’ve seen anyone do that ever
[rolls D20 in front of her or on video. Nat 1.] Okay here goes nothing - [following my worst pickup line]
Oh fuck, I dropped this entire pack of cards on the ground. Can you help me?
Me literally picking up a huge box with a fella: “don’t you let go”
So…… you’re a girl.
Hi! So what do you think of assimilation?
