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I dropped out of my university in my first year. I was a music major, and my orchestra director set up a gofundme so that family and friends and teachers from my old high school could all get together to purchase an instrument for me I can use in school because my family was broke and couldn’t afford it. But I stayed at home instead of living on campus, and since my family life was so chaotic, the stress of everything happening at home on top of taking on a huge course load made me lose my academic scholarship, and the thought of taking out student loans to be a gigging musician seemed like a guaranteed way to never escape poverty. I didn’t know what to do. So I did nothing. The deadline passed, and I fell into a deep depression that took years to get out of.

I had to start working in various blue collar environments until I had enough money to move out with my partner, who turned out to be really shitty once we started living together so then I had to find a place by myself, then I went back to a technical college to get some IT certs, and eventually stumbled into my first “big boy” job doing IT for a large warehouse. Since then, I’ve doubled my salary by hopping between a few different tech jobs, and I even get to play in a local symphony with the same instrument that was given to me for school.

It took about 5 years of wafting around after dropping out of college, and my mental health was in the shitter for most of that, but going through that stress made me the person I am today, and for the first time in my life, I kind of like who I am. With that said, I didn’t have the time to enjoy life with how much I was working and am trying to make up for lost time now. But it’s so much easier to do that now that I have disposable income and a comfortable place to sleep every night.

TL;DR Your early 20s suck and there’s going to be a lot of stress – thats unavoidable unless you’re a nepo baby. Just roll with it and don’t forget to have fun every now and then. You’ll figure it out.

I had everything figured out at 21. Graduating soon with good grades from an engineering degree, job already lined up, eager to start the next chapter of my life.

Unfortunately a couple of years later I absolutely hated my job, quit, broke up with my girlfriend, moved back in with my parents and basically started again from scratch.

Life is not a linear progression like driving from one place to another. It’s ok to take your time, explore, figure yourself out and keep trying.

I have been struggling with my career for about 4-5 years now. I am already 33. Life takes a while to settle. There is no rush and definitely no need to stress about it. Loops are pretty common. You are not too old. 21 is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I just want to add some context as a person that’s going grey.

You are still incredibly young in your 20s. There’s still so much time left for you.

It’s the ideal time to drop out. Think things over and find some purpose or direction.

Or not.

So much is made about knowing your course in life, when often learning to drift the right way can be far more enjoyable.

So yeah, not exactly a call to hedonism, but try to find what you enjoy and where your ambition lies then make positive steps to get there.

So yes and no. Some of this depends on what sort of “loop” you’re stuck in, which I can’t answer unless I have more details. The rest doesn’t depend as much on that.

On one hand, 21 is extremely young—which means you have an absurd amount of wiggle room and time to course correct, even if you’ve done some really dumb stuff.

On the other hand, time only starts to move faster and if you don’t commit to course correct at some point you’ll end up a lot older in a way tougher spot.

I think the answer here is some sort of average of extremes (like it is for most things in life). You shouldn’t worry about the future too much because you’re so young, but you should start taking action to course correct now so that the next 5-10 years are easier.

I wouldn’t bother with a degree unless it is required for your chosen career path.

You’ll save time and money by entering the workforce in a lower position now and working towards a promotion.

There are a lot of people out there with degrees entirely unrelated to their work and or earning wages similar to people who didn’t bother with uni and they have a student loan to pay back on top of that.

If you have your heart set on higher education, look at the open university, courses are designed so that you can do them in your free time and are substantially cheaper than “proper” uni with degrees that are worth just as much.

I went to uni right out of highschool. Became a paramedic. Has a good career but it just wasn’t what I wanted. By 25 I quit and was travelling doing odd jobs or whatever I could. Meeting people, seeing places. It wasn’t easy but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’ve been many places, done many things, met so many interesting people and completely changed my world view from when I was 20 because of it all.

I say don’t let society tell you what is right or normal. Find your own path. Do things you find interesting and don’t make your life about your work. Now I am old and have medical issues. I’ll be 50 this year. I’m glad I lived while I had the opportunity. It’s your life make it what you want it to be not someone else’s idea of life.

You’ll be fine. You are incredibly young. I just started over with a new career at 45. I have friends my age who are back in school. Maybe try not to have kids since that will make this all harder. But then again, have em if you want em.

Oh you’re always “right” to stress about life. Life is fucking hard, and full of problems, and if you aren’t neck deep in problems in your life it’s because you’re unconscious.

But for that very same reason, you’re always “right” to skip the stress and just get on with the next task. If you have a hard time doing that, I suggest drawing a map of the meaning in your life.

If you don’t know how to do that, look for a class called “Maps of Meaning” and watch it. It’s a free course, published on youtube. No homework or anything; just all the lectures videotaped and published on youtube.

That one course has done more to make my life functional than anything else I’ve encountered.

I dropped out of high school at 17 and went to college (which I think is the same as a community college in the US? Not a full four-year degree) when I was 24 for programming. Worked as a programmer for a couple years and then got bored and went into agriculture for a couple years. Now I’m bored again and looking at going back to school for something else. I’m 33 and I’m doing fine. 21 is so young! You have lots of time to figure yourself out. Honestly I think asking 18-year-olds to decide what they want to do forever is ridiculous. Almost nobody knows themselves that well that young. I’m still figuring out what I want in life.

Currently in the midst of a midlife crisis, I laugh at your quarter life crisis. You have no idea what crisis is. Here’s my take:

Edit: unintentional ‘gatekeeping.’

Life is short. Try not to make too many dumb decisions. Stay away from hard drugs and alcohol. Try your best to find a career that you actually like doing. Understand that your mental health is important. It’s OKAY to ask for mental help—don’t wait until you’re 40 to find that out.

Don’t worry about living with your parents. Be happy you still have them. If Uni isn’t right for you now, you can go later or not at all. If you have nuclear options… do it now. Do it while you still have a fallback plan.

Oh and, stay out of debt. That’s how they keep you a slave. Houses and education can be exceptions, but if you don’t have the CASH to buy the THING, you don’t get the THING.

Dude, you’re barely in your 20s. You’re fine.

If you continue with the school route, do it for the least amount of $$ you can.

I dropped out of art school at 21, and got my AA at 37. Finally have an actual “career” now.