John Malkovich’s voice and spectacular cadence in your head:
- “It is estimated that Santa’s sleigh weighs 353 thousand tons. So, traveling at 650 miles per second would create such enormous friction that Santa and his reindeer would burst into flames. You understand? Like a meteor entering the atmosphere. This is a scientific fact.”
It’s a mistranslation. The original text said Santa works in eleven dimensions. Time and space mean nothing to that guy. That got turned into Santa working with elves. It’s understandable as the original eldritch texts drive mere mortals readers insane. Multidimensional documentation is the worst.
I thought we agreed that he was in a quantum state, a superposition of all children’s homes, relying on not being observed as it would collapse the quantum state.
If anyone wants to know more about the math, I think this refers to https://www2.nau.edu/lrm22/lessons/scientific_method/santa.html
All of the gifts are in a bag of holding so their weight wouldn’t be included. It would be about two tons including the reindeer.
Santa Claus is obviously an absurd myth, as this post and the nau.edu article correctly point out. The only rational explanation is that the Christmas present phenomenon is Odin delivering Yule gifts. Odin and his horse Sleipnir–well-documented as the best of all horses–would not be restricted by the physical laws and friction. Odin’s generosity has been misattributed to this portly, cola-guzzling elf for too long and it is time to come to terms with FACTS.
https://brodgar.co.uk/2020/12/14/odin-as-santa-claus-and-other-norse-yule-myths/
My kink is John Malkovich stating detailed facts that crush my dreams.
New kink unlocked
Santa can see you when you sleep, knows when you’re awake, and visits every believer’s house at the same time. He’s not scientific. Santa is an egregorian God, created from nothing by the belief of his believers. Santa Clause is a vast, Eldridge being, set upon the earth to reward the kind and punish the selfish. Santa is everywhere. Santa is everything.
So be good, for goodness sake.
TIL!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egregore
Egregore (also spelled egregor; from French égrégore, from Ancient Greek ἐγρήγορος, egrēgoros ‘wakeful’) is an esoteric concept representing a non-physical entity that arises from the collective thoughts of a distinct group of people.
I hear him talking in a bad dialect of a russian crime boss talking about poker, sorry, every time I see him I have to think about this debacle.
FUCK YOUR SCIENCE, ITS MAGIC
