I just got up from conversation with a couple of older black men, that I said “well I got to go back to work and start cracking the whip.” And it occurred to me then that it was probably a really insensitive stupid thing to say.
Sadly, it hadn’t occurred to me until it’s already said.
cracking the whip
I think this is a fantastic example of what you’re talking about.
On its face, “cracking the whip” doesn’t need to be seen as offensive. Humans have collectively spent far more time using whip cracks to motivate animals than fellow humans, I suspect.
However, the determination of offensive speech is not in the hands of the speaker, but rather in the reception by the listener. That is to say, you can have the purest of intentions but if someone is offended by what you say, no amount of explaining takes away the initial offense. And generally you don’t GET to do that explaining. Damage is done, and that person may then avoid you or already have a shifted opinion of you.
I’ve had to learn this lesson the hard way. And fortunately have had friends who were willing to tell me that I had offended them when I thought what I said was completely benign.
However, the determination of offensive speech is not in the hands of the speaker, but rather in the reception by the listener.
Descriptively speaking, I think that it’s more complex than it looks like - the determination depends on the linguistic community, not just the listener.
Whether offense exists is more on the listener (or audience rather). Whether any action (a simple “sorry” or more severe) should be expected is the complicated part.
The offence existing or not can’t depend solely on the listener, because existence is an objective trait and feeling offended is subjective. Your parentheses get it though - it includes the audience (the linguistic community, not just the listener). I’ll use a silly example to show that.
Let us suppose that someone (“Bob”) got offended by your usage of the word “listener”, claiming that you’re insensitive towards people who communicate through sign languages, and since they’re mostly deaf that you would be ableist. (It’s insane troll logic, but bear with me.)
Bob can certainly feel offended by that. But that won’t change anything, if other people do not consider it offensive. At most they’ll tell Bob “you’re making shit up, touch grass” and call it a day.
The picture however would change if Bob got offended by something and people around him agreed with him.
Whether any action (a simple “sorry” or more severe) should be expected is the complicated part.
Both are complicated, I believe.
Maybe you’re right. I don’t know. I’m now thinking about someone going off on a racist tirade alone in the woods. I guess that’s offensive.
But with your example, if you are offended by “listener” then offense exists. The greater community advisory corrective action could be “no action required, don’t even say ‘sorry’ is you don’t want to”. What action is taken does not change the fact that I offended someone. There could be a social-sphere that actually comes down on the other side and says “we don’t use that word here”, I don’t know. But I wouldn’t feel right trying to argue about.
I want to be clear to anyone reading this, no I do not think there is or should be anything like a formal committee. Just the social-sphere you wish to inhabit.
I get what you’re saying, but nobody who says they are going to start cracking the whip is talking about training animals. Even if they were, that’s not an inoffensive metaphor, either. You’re either comparing subordinates to slaves or animals. You’re suggesting that physical violence, the threat of torture, is an appropriate motivator, or you wish it were. If that’s not what you’re saying, then you shouldn’t say that, even as an exaggeration or a joke.
It is an offensive metaphor. You may not offend everyone, but if you have offended someone, it’s not their fault you said something offensive. They didn’t choose to be offended, and made no determination about what you meant. You should say what you mean, clearly, and with intent. Carelessness is not an excuse for using offensive language.
I gotta say I agree with you
I too learned this the hard way, but with an image. Specifically, the “Shut Down Everything” meme. It’s an older meme and I used it in chat room with a much younger (Zoomer) crowd. The image has some resemblance to certain offensive depictions of Black people. I think it was accidental, given that it appears to be more an influence of MS Paint.
Someone got offended and talked to their manager. Unfortunately it was only months later that I got word through my manager. I would have appreciated an opportunity to offer to apologize to them face-to-face. I should have spotted the resemblance and not used the meme.
My grandfather, who passed away in the 90s, used to say “cotton pickers” for people that he meant as “jerks”. It took me until the 2010s that he was taking about black people. 🤦♂️
A lot of people post online that they love the phrase “cotton-headed ninny-muggins”.
But once you look at it thought this lens…boys I think this one’s not ok.
When I was younger, I thought the term “cracker” referred to white people being pale like a cracker that you’d eat. I did not realize until later that it was referring to whipping.
So you’re telling me Saltines aren’t part of my American heritage?
I’m 38 and I did not know this.
Oh, fuck. This would have been nice to know sooner.
phrases that are stupid
We haven’t invented a storage big enough for that yet
About the others, there are some obvious ones but other than that it mostly depends on context and culture. Some pointed the ricing thing for Linux, but I don’t think anyone in the community, myself included, thought about Asian ppl when calling themselves a ricer; nor I think it’s racist, so again: aside for obvious insults or widely known slurs, it basically falls back to context
Oof. At work we currently have a project for words deemed insensitive. For the most part I think it’s worthy, but some things are overboard. The project group cast a very wide net, ignoring context and etymology. My biggest disagreement is over “black” and “white”.
Take “black box” and “white box” for types of testing. These are based merely on the properties of light. I have serious doubts about anyone ever having felt excluded by their use. And yet, we’re wasting time coming up with non-standard nomenclature to satisfy this supposed slight. There’s a whole laundry list of words like this.
You should call them “box that absorbs all light” and “box that absorbs no light” you fucking racist
My mother-in-law used to call everyone “zipper-heads” until someone pointed out that it’s a slur against Koreans (and a particularly graphic one at that).
Odds are that such a list won’t ever exist. Insensitivity and bias depend on meaning, and meaning depends on context. As such, we [people in general] need to pay attention to what we’re saying, and to whom, in to avoid both things. No easy way.
“Seek offence and you shall find it” - The secret mantra of Tumblr users
It’s a tricky one because if someone wants to be offended, they definitely will be. I once knew a guy who, for some reason, found the use of the word “slug” (in any context) intensely offensive. To this day, no-one ever learned why.
This is a great list for ableist terms . https://www.autistichoya.com/p/ableist-words-and-terms-to-avoid.html I’m disabled in multiple ways and there were a few on here that caused me to re-evaluate my lexicon.
A list has limited use because language evolves, and so do people, and on top of that, context is everything — but it can be a good place to start
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Category:English_derogatory_terms
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Category:English_offensive_terms
these aren’t phrases but they’re words
You can’t be stupid, otherwise you’d be on Reddit 😊
where does everyone stand on cretin? IMHO it’s medical use is obsolete afaik, so really it’s just an insult right?
I think it might have originated in the Bible. Paul says in Titus 1:12-13 NIV
"One of Crete’s own prophets has said it: ‘Cretans are always liars, evil brutes, lazy gluttons.’ This saying is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith.
I always found it comical that Paul, the great apostle, endorsed this stereotype of the people of Crete.
I think it’s medical and insulting use are obsolete lmao
I dunno man, cretin perfectly describes Trump…
Isn’t it somebody that experienced an iodine deficiency in childhood. There’s a particular look, he doesn’t have it.
No, you’re thinking of hypothyroidism (iodine deficiency)…
I’m thinking of cretinism.
He’s wealthy, or at least he’s treated as such most of the time, so the word you’re looking for is eccentric.
No, shitbag, fuckwit and narcissistic treason douche are all more appropriate than eccentric.
being rich doesn’t mean you can’t be a fuckwit, and he’s proven it time and again.
You’re overthinking it. You didn’t say anything insensitive or stupid. It will offend some people, but they are usually looking at how to be a victim and that gives them an opportunity. It’s just words, don’t worry about it so much.
This is wrong. What OP said was very much offensive, comparing yourself to that of a slaver. It is a rare figure of speech, and while not intentional it is still offensive. However, the context of who you’re talking to doesn’t matter, it is an offensive statement regardless of the history of the person you’re saying it to.
For OP: it is okay to make a mistake, especially when you recognize it.
For years I used the term “shylock” as a pejorative for greedy people while being ignorant of the connotations of using the characters name that way. I didn’t even know it was from a Shakespeare play.
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