• Credibly_Human@lemmy.world
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    24 hours ago

    This is funny, but in reality douche bags win at dating because most people just are overly willing to give others the benefit of the doubt.

    I’m sure Ill get some comments for saying that, but this applies outside of dating too, and applies to women as well.

    How do you think strategies like weaponized incompetence work? They rely on a partner believing the other partner is participating in good faith.

    How do you think the oil/dairy/meat lobbyists having one guy in a lab coat challenge mountains of scientists in a lab coat works? People just don’t investigate deeply, assume all parties are acting in good faith, see that there is any disagreement between people who seem knowledgeable, call it a draw and walk away.

    When people date stealth republicans, it becomes evident later than they would like because people really tend to give others the benefit of the doubt and assume they think like how they themselves think.

    This common trend people have of assuming good will makes them very vulnerable to people abusing social norms and expectations. The way most of us think make us incredibly vulnerable.

    The alternative is more depressing, cynical and cagey, but I can’t see any other way to stop the worst people in society from winning purely by operating in ways that skirt on the edge of what you are willing to believe is in good faith.

    • sobchak@programming.dev
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      17 hours ago

      It’s mostly just that men with outgoing personalities are going to be attracting more attention and talking to more people. And that narcissists, manipulators, impulsive people, domineering people, people with no shame, etc are going to be more outgoing. Not that all outgoing people have these issues, many outgoing people are fine people.

      • Credibly_Human@lemmy.world
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        15 hours ago

        I think there is more to it than that. Even good outgoing people have a disadvantage by not using these tricks and people hacks (so to speak) due to being decent

    • shalafi@lemmy.world
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      23 hours ago

      I’m in the South and I’d hate to be online dating as a conservative. Many profiles say “not interested in politics” and the like. Found out that’s code for "Keep your Trump bullshit to yourself. Many straight up say no MAGA. A few women have told me that their date was ranting at them about Trump, on the first date. First and only date.

      • omarfw@lemmy.world
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        4 hours ago

        The conservatives and white supremacists on sites like funnyjunk are always complaining about how hard it is to date because women don’t like the MAGA shit and the lack of equality they support.

        Extremist ideologues are insufferable in general and nobody wants to be with them. From maga weirdos to misandrist radical feminists. Ideology is poisonous to peacefulness, good faith behavior, and rationality.

    • AFK BRB Chocolate (CA version)@lemmy.ca
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      24 hours ago

      More than just giving the benefit of a doubt, especially in dating situations, people often fill in what they don’t know about the other person with what they want to be true. It’s not necessarily a conscious thing, but it happens a lot.

    • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today
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      23 hours ago

      While this has been true in the past, most people are done with giving MAGA Traitors any benefit of the doubt. They’ve worn that out. Nobody trusts ANYTHING they say anymore.

      Even Democratic Legislators are starting to resist, and they’re the most cowardly, appeasment-loving losers on the planet.

      Nobody should date MAGAs. They all cheat, and you know they’re awful in bed anyway. Let them disappoint each other.

      • I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world
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        5 hours ago

        While this has been true in the past, most people are done with giving MAGA Traitors any benefit of the doubt. They’ve worn that out. Nobody trusts ANYTHING they say anymore.

        “I spend all my time on the internet and don’t have the first fucking clue how people in the real world think”

      • Credibly_Human@lemmy.world
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        21 hours ago

        You say that, but of white women, which I’m using because it’s an easy demographic to use to illustrate this point, 53% voted for trump.

        Its less awful among young voters but the trend has actually been going backwards.

        • BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today
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          18 hours ago

          Surprise! Among ALL people, some are decent, and some are shitty. It doesn’t matter what gender, color, religion, national origin, age, etc. Some people are cool, and some people suck, and that includes Women.

          ALL MAGAs are terrible, terrible people on every possible way.

    • BeeegScaaawyCripple@lemmy.world
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      18 hours ago

      How do you think the oil/dairy/meat lobbyists having one guy in a lab coat challenge mountains of scientists in a lab coat works? People just don’t investigate deeply, assume all parties are acting in good faith, see that there is any disagreement between people who seem knowledgeable, call it a draw and walk away.

      i mean, you’re describing science, not industry-captured science. you make progress by challenging the existing models, either improving the models or finding better ones. overwhelming ego and bad faith are difficult to distinguish between, and well i’ve known a lot of scientists.

      • Credibly_Human@lemmy.world
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        15 hours ago

        I’m pretty clearly discussing fake science being presented as legitimate next to actual science so I find this a weird reply.