Crippling self doubt, what else?
Cause I was the gender they weren’t into (repeat x30).
Where are all the bi folk when you need 'em
While that’s ideal, yes, I’d settle for more lesbians. 😄
Two people with the same sexuality and preferences just understand each other the best, don’t they
Lesbians only want to do the fun parts of sex. All killer no fill’er.
(My sincere apologies for that last sentence, it’s both inaccurate and tasteless, but I couldn’t help myself)
Tasteless would be if I responded with the culinary properties of my gender fluid
She was a 10, I’m a solid 4 when I get all done up.
I thought you were talking about age…
Damn. No. We were in our early 20s.
If she’s not done up would she be a 6-7? You need to catch her then!
Seriously though she’s a 10 in your eyes because she’s I assume pretty plus you like who she is as a person. Maybe you haven’t accounted for how she sees you as a person. I guess what I’m saying is we all assume pretty people won’t be into us because we’re not attractive. But by doing so you’re judging things by looks too. If you truly like the person take a shot and get to know her and show her who you are.
Honestly finding love is a grind. Not by pure chance. I tried and failed so much before I met my wife and I owe it to those failures. It made me a better partner but also a way better first few dates.
She was literally the girl who people stopped and got her to pose for professional pictures on the beach and I’m the guy they’d forget was there. But we got along great.
She trusted me as a friend and really loved the asshole. I knew him a lot longer than she did and really couldn’t stand the guy, and I don’t think he liked me either, but she didn’t know that. I was dating someone else too, but my gf didn’t compare to her.
Funny thing is she’d tell me about their arguments and disputes and 90% of the time, she was in the wrong and I’d tell her that. I couldn’t believe I was defending him but I was honest and she appreciated my sharing a dude’s perspective. He followed her to college, and I don’t think he’d have even went if not for her, and they got married after. Still married now 30+ years later. I can only believe he grew into a much better man than he seemed to be as a kid, and I’m glad I didn’t interfere with their relationship. I eventually found my soul-mate and best friend so wouldn’t change a thing, but I can’t help but wonder how things might have played out in some alternate universe.
If it helps, I saw you arguing with her in that universe because of how you made the morning coffee too strong again after married for 7 years. The feelings between you guys were genuine and passionate but for many times you called me up late at night for a quick beer, complaining how things would have been different.
I’m glad to see you in a better place in this universe. Cherish what you have now, bro.
Lol… no worries. I have no doubt I’m with the woman I was made for. 14 years of marriage and we’ve never even had a harsh word between us and we love each other’s company. It’s a rare match and both of us, having been in bad marriages the first time around, know just how fortunate we are to have found each other. As I said, I wouldn’t go back in time and change a thing.
Besides, my wife and I both know there’s no such thing as coffee that’s too strong. It’d be a fight every morning! 🙂
There’s this girl I’ve known for almost 10 years and we always-maybe-kinda liked each other, but we have this “non verbal agreement” of not bothering one another because in reality we both know we would tear each other apart in the end.
There are some character traits that are funny as long as you are friends but would be destructive as partners.I never had to confess, she knew. And I knew she liked me back. But she could never bring herself to go for it, over fear of ruining the friendship. But her refusal to go for it made it so that over time the friendship was ruined anyways from me feeling jerked around/used.
I was a mess and even though we were both hot to trot I did not want to enter into a relationship before getting my shit together.
It’s been a few decades now but I’m sure that one day I will… not sure my wife will understand though 😂
going through this rn, but congrats on finding some peace with it
In my case, and in retrospect, it was in large part caused by undiagnosed ADHD and autism.
From a single sentence I wouldn’t be able to say one way or the other whether it’s something that affects you, but it was immensely helpful to look at a series of videos about “Adult ADHD” on YouTube. It became clear that a major portion of my issues could be attributed to my lack of knowledge about myself and these issues.
It was never the right time, also haven’t thought of her in years.
- We met in chem lab and it was a fucking amazing time every week her smile made every week so worth it.
- That lasted the year and I finally felt the courage to ask her but summer was starting
- She came back with a boyfriend.
- Her classes started being very different and she did more sorority activities so it was hard to hang out ever.
- She breaks up with that boyfriend but it’s already senior year and she was going to grad school in Texas and I was going elsewhere.
- We give each other big hugs and say goodbye on the last day cementing it as a forever “what if I had more courage?”
She was the only what if for me tbh, I haven’t thought of her in years as said. Hope she’s doing well, but it’s important to always move on from this stuff lol. Don’t hang onto it, if it was going to work it would have
I wanted kids of my own and she didn’t. It never would have worked.
The time before, I got laughed out of the room.
She isn’t attracted to anyone romantically, nothing about romance made sense for her at all. She made that point multiple times on our conversations. It’d be best for both of us if I won’t confess, since I cannot imagine damaging our relationship as close friends.
Because I was married to someone else. She was also married.
This.
I am married for longer than a decade, yet my instincts still develop a crush on random good looking women. I don’t tell anyone because I will feel ashamed by moral standards. I also won’t make a move on any one and painfully waiting for the feeling to wear off or the person to move away.
We’re best friends and I don’t want to lose him
I’m autistic. I didn’t know I was at the time, but I did know that I had a hard time making and keeping friends, and that people didn’t think of me “that way”. Or, if they did, I wasn’t aware of it. I had a very hard time understanding or following any kind of social conventions, or even understanding basic rules of society. I also had a lot of religious trauma from being raised in–and escaping–a cult, and I didn’t really have a good way to work through my batshit crazy beliefs that were still stuck in my head. Meanwhile, she was an opiate and cocaine addict; most of the people she dated were people that could supply her with drugs long term. I have a suspicion that she’s been a sex worker at at least some points in her life. At the time, we worked together closely.
I’ve changed a lot since then. Aside from the drugs, I’m pretty sure that I’m the kind of person now that she would have thrown herself at then. I’ve also grown up enough to realize that, first, what I was experiencing was a feeling called “limerance”, and second, that any relationship I would have had with her at that time would have been deeply destructive to me.
Thanks for the new vocabulary. That’s a useful word
Often it’s because I’m just too afraid because the person is ridiculously good looking that I don’t think I have a chance, rejection always sucks. I’ve been with an attractive person or two in my time, so I know it’s not impossible, I’m ok-ish on a good day, but I know I’ll be so… distracted by their good looks that I probably won’t have anything intelligent to say.
There’s also the chance that either of us is in a relationship or workmates, which just isn’t a good mix and eventually leads to problems. Otherwise, I wish casual sex was just a common thing that people just did without any stigma attached to it (assuming STDs weren’t so rampant and safe sex was also just as common).
