Those fuckers have like nine different types of eyes. Even that tail is one big photoreceptor! Primitive, my ass - you try surviving crawling around in the mud for 400 million fucking years.
We call their evolution lazy just cause we’re jealous they finished their homework when it was assigned, and we waited until the day it was due. I was evolved to be a primate but now I have back issues because we’re bipedal. Smfh
Back in my day you used to be able to buy twelve horseshoe crabs for a nickel… Of course that was before the war… Back then id swear at least two and a half teenth of my crew where horse shew crab but who you going to tell ? Tattling wouldn’t be invented for another 2 score years up in Kentucky you had to wait another 6!
But it’s was easier and I miss those days. If you could dodge the knowledge toads you were already 12 up on these Irish but we can’t say that anymore can we? No sir…now we got to give everything to the freckled folk and act like that’s the way it’s meant to be but it’s not. It wasn’t a thing until the battle of leaky hill… But we lost and I had to accept that to get tomatoes down at the Paul’s service at a decent price. Don’t even get me started about the tomatoes. You never damn believe it.
Sorry I’m going to be a grandfather soon so I’m practicing
Congratulations! Seems like you’re well on course to getting your grandfathers license, but if I may offer some minor critique, you didn’t comment on how much I’ve grown and I believe taffy should be involved somewhere along the line. Other than that, excellent grandfathering!
I’d talk about taffy if we’re lucky enough to have it. We chewed rubber across the street from the taffy store hoping to catch a wiff of the taffy. If the wind was right you’d almost smell it over the horse manure we had to carry back and forth.
But you’ve said you’ve grown have you? Let me put my glasses on and take a look at ya. How old you get up to now? 17? When I was your age I was 24 and had to hide from the draft but I know you do the best you can and I don’t hold it against you. Life is softer now a days, you grew up with all your toes I see. We used to have to write our names on our toes in case they got stolen police weren’t now damn good barely got half of them back . … you’re a good boy tho lad. Strapping. Like your Father before he got sloppy and stumbled into all that doctor brain pull crap. Pills making people happy now. If I wanted haUppy I had to go to war and get an arm blown off and you don’t see me complaining.
Run along now son and tell your mother I need another rooted beer and make it a good one this time. Damn lazy kids. My father never ask twice a day in his life. He asked once then he kill ya and replace ya with a kid that minded better and they call that abuse now. That’s why nothing ever gets done anymore with the construction down the road. Six weeks for pavement and they call it progress. Their lucky. They don’t even… They don’t … damn kids.and their play tubes… Snoring … We stood in line for our kidneys… Snoring. We drank the lead because it was cleaner than the water snoring ya think you have blue… We had real blue back then not this pansy ass… Snoring and they think they’ll send it mars. Good luck with that I’d say if they were worth a damn to listen… HEY DONT CHANGE THE CHANNEL IM STILL WATCHING THAT! damn remotes and they wonder why we have diabetes… Snoring
Sharks are also older than trees, flowers, Saturn’s rings, and the Atlantic ocean.
And don’t even get me started on horseshoe crabs. Older than plants, those ones.
In defence of plants, it takes a highly evolved form of life to be able to do nothing all day and get away with it.
Knew I specced into the wrong class. Take me back to the character creation screen!!!
Plant bard would be the best, assuming you can avoid predation.
From Wikipedia:
Those fuckers have like nine different types of eyes. Even that tail is one big photoreceptor! Primitive, my ass - you try surviving crawling around in the mud for 400 million fucking years.
We call their evolution lazy just cause we’re jealous they finished their homework when it was assigned, and we waited until the day it was due. I was evolved to be a primate but now I have back issues because we’re bipedal. Smfh
We’re taking the scenic route, but eventually we will all be crab. So it is written.
Back in my day you used to be able to buy twelve horseshoe crabs for a nickel… Of course that was before the war… Back then id swear at least two and a half teenth of my crew where horse shew crab but who you going to tell ? Tattling wouldn’t be invented for another 2 score years up in Kentucky you had to wait another 6!
But it’s was easier and I miss those days. If you could dodge the knowledge toads you were already 12 up on these Irish but we can’t say that anymore can we? No sir…now we got to give everything to the freckled folk and act like that’s the way it’s meant to be but it’s not. It wasn’t a thing until the battle of leaky hill… But we lost and I had to accept that to get tomatoes down at the Paul’s service at a decent price. Don’t even get me started about the tomatoes. You never damn believe it.
Sorry I’m going to be a grandfather soon so I’m practicing
Congratulations! Seems like you’re well on course to getting your grandfathers license, but if I may offer some minor critique, you didn’t comment on how much I’ve grown and I believe taffy should be involved somewhere along the line. Other than that, excellent grandfathering!
I’d talk about taffy if we’re lucky enough to have it. We chewed rubber across the street from the taffy store hoping to catch a wiff of the taffy. If the wind was right you’d almost smell it over the horse manure we had to carry back and forth.
But you’ve said you’ve grown have you? Let me put my glasses on and take a look at ya. How old you get up to now? 17? When I was your age I was 24 and had to hide from the draft but I know you do the best you can and I don’t hold it against you. Life is softer now a days, you grew up with all your toes I see. We used to have to write our names on our toes in case they got stolen police weren’t now damn good barely got half of them back . … you’re a good boy tho lad. Strapping. Like your Father before he got sloppy and stumbled into all that doctor brain pull crap. Pills making people happy now. If I wanted haUppy I had to go to war and get an arm blown off and you don’t see me complaining.
Run along now son and tell your mother I need another rooted beer and make it a good one this time. Damn lazy kids. My father never ask twice a day in his life. He asked once then he kill ya and replace ya with a kid that minded better and they call that abuse now. That’s why nothing ever gets done anymore with the construction down the road. Six weeks for pavement and they call it progress. Their lucky. They don’t even… They don’t … damn kids.and their play tubes… Snoring … We stood in line for our kidneys… Snoring. We drank the lead because it was cleaner than the water snoring ya think you have blue… We had real blue back then not this pansy ass… Snoring and they think they’ll send it mars. Good luck with that I’d say if they were worth a damn to listen… HEY DONT CHANGE THE CHANNEL IM STILL WATCHING THAT! damn remotes and they wonder why we have diabetes… Snoring
But not horse shoes
No, crabhorse shoes didn’t come until at least 5 years later.
No idea when shoecrab horses came about, though.
But what about hand shoes and horse grenades?
Well obviously. Horses clearly evolved the shape of their feet by repeatedly attempting to use horseshoe crabs as shoes.
Sharks are older than trees?!?
I would cut the shapes of prehistoric sharks in cardboard in my childhood. Have a pouch of those somewhere.
They were really beautiful.