Lmfao samee, I getcha. I had nothing against my skin before, but it was never comfy. I didn’t even realize it because it was just normal, and when it felt worse it felt like it just needed a shower (where I incidentally rubbed my skin raw. Which I didn’t even process as probably-not-great).
Mood. I lived with my dysphoria for so long that I didn’t even realize how much of my “normal” was just depression until that first dose of E lifted the weight from my shoulders.
Genuinely. Like; walking to the mailbox when a lost childhood memory resurfaces for no apparent reason and then I’m making smalltalk with the neighbor to distract myself from the bittersweet momemt that’d have me in tears otherwise
Life is so damn beautiful, y’all. There are the horrors, but there is also joy~<3
At this point I’m trying to get off my antidepressant because I think it’s suppressing a lot of the mood changes I would have otherwise gotten from starting estrogen. So far it seems like my guess is correct; every time I step down a dose my feelings get stronger, I feel less dissociated, and so forth. It’s a double edged sword though. I’ve had some moments of extreme dysphoria while my brain is getting used to the lower dosage.
Lmfao samee, I getcha. I had nothing against my skin before, but it was never comfy. I didn’t even realize it because it was just normal, and when it felt worse it felt like it just needed a shower (where I incidentally rubbed my skin raw. Which I didn’t even process as probably-not-great).
Mood. I lived with my dysphoria for so long that I didn’t even realize how much of my “normal” was just depression until that first dose of E lifted the weight from my shoulders.
It is really weird to suddenly have emotions and to be like, affected by the world around you suddenly X)
Genuinely. Like; walking to the mailbox when a lost childhood memory resurfaces for no apparent reason and then I’m making smalltalk with the neighbor to distract myself from the bittersweet momemt that’d have me in tears otherwise
Life is so damn beautiful, y’all. There are the horrors, but there is also joy~<3
At this point I’m trying to get off my antidepressant because I think it’s suppressing a lot of the mood changes I would have otherwise gotten from starting estrogen. So far it seems like my guess is correct; every time I step down a dose my feelings get stronger, I feel less dissociated, and so forth. It’s a double edged sword though. I’ve had some moments of extreme dysphoria while my brain is getting used to the lower dosage.
Best of luck! A slow tapering of the dosage is definitely best for antidepressants.