Met a 22 yo in a group I am involved in, she asked if I wanted a lift to a meeting, there and back. I don’t know her very well but she’s young a lot younger than me by 10years.
So talking on the way back she mentions antidepressants, I too take anti depressants, the conversation moves towards SSRIs and sex. I panic because that shit makes me supper uncomfortable, she said some stuff that was a blatant hint. Anyway me and her have activity later in the week for the group we’re in, she’s invited me out for a drink after and being friendly and uncomfortable I said yea sure.
How best to proceed? I don’t want things to be weird and our group get weird as a result. I wish I could set boundaries.
Worth mentioning I have crazy anxiety so don’t judge too hard I mostly run on auto pilot in those situations.
“Hey, I was wondering if you could help me figure something out. I was really flattered by your invite the other day, but I’m not interested in dating right now. I enjoy your friendship and I don’t want to jeopardize it. Is there a way we can comfortably set boundaries without ruining that?”
IMO this way you let them know you’re interested in maintaining a relationship but at a friendship level. You demonstrate that you care about their feelings while clearly establishing the need for specific boundaries.
This reads very well!
I think starting the statement as a request for help in the analysis really works.