What a convenient pretext to round up Beijing’s wishlist of exiles.

Pages? Like a static display made from dead trees?

Shocking Murder Vic Confession: “I didn’t even know I was dead.Thats how good they are.”

American left: “Might the noble job creators spare a pittance of their fortune that they, and they alone, earned and were entitled to based on their unique brilliance?”

Left anywhere else: “Bootlickers.”

It’s like Pleasantville, but in reverse and it’s a horror film.

I guess he fits the kicker with an inferiority complex since he isn’t a real football player.*

*All other kickers are real football players unless they hold similarly shitty views.

Surely engineers have devised ways to reduce pier pressure caused by the flow of water.

Yup. By and large, the SEO industry is a cancer.

Trickle down wasn’t invented in the 1980s. It was a rebranding of what was previously pilloried as horse and sparrow economics in that if you let horses gorge on oats, some undigested oat will pass through their systems and be deposited in the fields for the sparrows to eat.

Gee, I wonder why they rebranded.

The rest of the dominos will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

• Zapp Branigan -Michael Scott