I deliberately haven’t seen Breaking Bad. I have it prepared for when the dementia sets in. Get to the end, forget I watched it, watch it again, repeat until death.

“They say you should only speak good of the dead. He’s dead. Good.”

He’s right wing? Story gonna be dropped from the media in 3…2…

There’s a timer that starts on your call to be done within, say, 20 minutes, and to get you the fuck off the phone. The employee is punished if you’re still on the line, so they have zero incentive to keep the call going. Click. Then who wants to call back to another phone tree to complain about… who was it again?

Protip: take copious notes, and if you are fortunate enough to live in a single-party consent state and are talking to someone who can get results, get a recording.

I’m seeing a lot of black licorice mentions, but there’s a special hell for Läkerol’s menthol black licorice.

Ah, the ol in haec verba Tarantino rule

It’s a…bridge too far?

Suing? In the very system that’s enabling this?

I’m a Pain Olympics fan myself

Buncha lazy chrizzos sitting around and shutting the markets down for a couple days when we could be trading crypto, I tell ya

The Federal Toothless Commission at this point?

Surely it could be stuffed into the cavity of yet another larger and equally bizarre choice of thing.

An em dash — when used properly — is perfectly fine, but a little academic. iOS will do one automatically with two hyphens and a space.

The MussoliniPad, doesn’t get WiFi at gas stations

Top features:

PATRIOTIC bloatware with Mahjong

Lee Greenwood and Kid Rock ringtones

“Starlink GPS” on the box but it’s hastily scratched out in tear-stained whiteboard marker

In Northern California, we had 767-####. Literally any four numbers you like. Easiest to remember was 767-2676 (POPCORN) and it would give you the exact time of day. Interesting history.

Academically, that’s called “reading diagonally”

Noise canceling headphones. Yes, they exist for under $100, maybe not the best, but they’re a godsend.

Nah, there’s plenty of Linux and Star Trek

Why, “specific circumstances” of course.