“You’re not a human ‘til you’re in my phone book.”

—Bill Hicks

The JOI you must have felt

His sodium levels are 10% less than a lethal dose. I bet his ankles are as big as cats.

The way I spit out my drink

This myth needs to die hard. Inheriting off daddy’s blood emerald mine allows you to start businesses and buy people to make them work. This takes zero intelligence — it takes capital which was not earned. It continues to make money through the labor of shady accountants who know how to keep you from paying taxes, the labor of H1-B visa holder slaves, non-unionized assembly line workers, etc. who you crush and exploit for more capital to keep repeating the same unethical and dumb shit.

It’s U.S. Magnesium.

Giving me a paragraph where Tom Cruise grows increasingly frustrated during his juggalo-themed commercial for shrimp fried rice.

Mittens are silencers.

I can only imagine if there’s nothing to do but build barns and agriculture, you’d be damn good at both.

Gum control

He was “speaking at a debate.” He may have learned that direct action is a surprisingly effective technique.

Violin for 10 years, and it was fucking hard. It starts sounding decent around year 7-8. Effectively matching the tone of the instrument to the components you buy and pieces you play is a trick too. My violin had a super dark tone, basically only sounded good with new strings (wound only, except for a steel E), which meant it was always sliding out of tune because of the tension. But on the occasions it all came together, it was extremely loud and resonant, and made Bach’s partitas sound pretty awesome.

Big Black’s Pig Pile absolutely slaps as a live album over the studio versions.

When you hit the avocado roll, stop. Or not.

“I’m in your walls, %n”

Balls didn’t touch, checkmate bros

“We’re all alone on our phones taking dumps… they should call it “anti-social media!”

In the background, Larry David smiles and nods, knowing Jerry Seinfeld is oblivious to the entire show just being a burn on how shitty his comedy actually is

“We don’t have quotas”

The children yearn for the mines