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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: August 6th, 2023

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  • Ding ding ding!

    I’m in similar -ish…

    Wife who is immature mentally and cheated for 25 years got called out. Now stays simply because she isn’t financially responsible and wouldn’t survive on her own. My extended family is now blocked from contact after my mother croaked, so they no longer influence her. Quote my mother “I wanted a daughter instead of you”… Her second husband literally was one of the guys, set up by my mother.

    Wife lives in separate bedroom. Not a romantic partner.

    Girlfriends (2) live in other part of house with me. They are platonically connected to each other, and the 3 of us fully integrated.

    While there’s tension with the wife still occasionally, the original arrangement was due to being stuck where not only would she have likely wound up homeless, it would have also made me and our kid homeless too. Now kid is adult, and things are mostly stable so no major changes unless the wife can become financially stable. If to when that’s not an issue, we will separate amicably.

    Preconceived notions of “that will harm the kid!” Etc have all been amazingly strong baselines for identifying and stopping contact with toxic people who use labels instead of just asking the kid how they feel about it.

    We have never tried to have the kid call anyone else “Mom”. Weird how far that one goes.




  • Drive failures have almost nothing to do with access if they are mechanical. Most failures are from bearing or solder interconnect failures over time.

    Also, most seeding is in smaller chunks that are read and cached if popular… Meaning less drive hits than 1-1 read vs upload.

    You will almost always have drives fail from other aspects like heat or power or old age before wear from seeding would ever be enough to matter.

    I have drives in the excess of 10+ years, with several seeds that have been active for many years of those, that are still running just fine.