After extensive looking the only selfhosted one that I can find that fits the bill is Seafile (latest update) which has a metadata based file storage function. Bear in mind setting up docker compose is a PITA but once you get it working (subject to license restriction - only 3 on free ‘pro’ tier) it works great.

Only other option that hits the same is the software I’m trying to replace: SharePoint (shudder). As much as Microsoft sucks the document libraries with columns are blooming powerful when combined with power automate. Good luck hunting!

Sadly no ipv6 support with my supplier so that’s sadly not an option. Vps and derp servers are both based in UK so doubt they’d be much benefit in switching from tailscales derp to pangolin. I’ll look into port forwarding but pretty sure ISP blocks this.

Would using something like pangolin be a solution to improve speeds rather than stuff going via relay it goes DNS->VPS->Local VM behind cgnat accessed via tunnel?