It’s short, but I gotchu:

My Roomate is a Cat

Man in his early 20’s depressed after the sudden death of his parents takes in a stray kitten that was dumped and they look after one another. First half of each episode is from the man’s perspective and the second half is the same events from the cat’s perspective.

There’s still some edge cases floating around. Some laundromats, parking meters, using a shopping cart at Aldi, older vending machines, bottle deposits, probably a few more but that’s off the top of my head.

I mean, I was in high school when the cell phones were largely flip phones and that one nokia brick that could probably survive being run over by a tank and at that point the rule was “nobody gives a shit if it’s in your pocket/in your bag and on silent, but if I see it or if it’s making loud disruptive noises from wherever you’ve got it it’s going in my desk until the bell rings”. That still seems a reasonable middle ground in my opinion. That way, it’s still accessible enough in the event of an actual emergency but not usable otherwise.

Honestly I’ve been wondering since the debates if he had a bad UTI when he crashed and burned. It’s not uncommon for them to cause confusion or even delirium in that age group and I seem to recall a lot of vague comments from his team saying he’d been ‘sick’.

Also if you accidentally inhaled through it, it felt like you were suffocating to death by eating the snuggle bear’s ass.

Hey mother nature, this octogenarian asshat who has lived on McDonald’s for so long that he probably bleeds movie theater popcorn butter pretty much just called you a pussy. You gonna take that?

You know Hanlon’s razor? We need an addendum to it that I’ll be calling Trump’s razor: under the current administration, if there’s a possible explanation that’s both malicious AND stupid, that’s the most likely one.

Yeah, the actual fork bit of 2 is nice but I don’t like utensils with dump truck ass; they’re top heavy when in use.

Yeah, Jobs is admittedly an imperfect comparison because Trump doesn’t seem the type to try and combat cancer with fruit salad and good vibes (that seems like more of an RFK thing if any of them). I could, however, absolutely see Trump firing any doctor who dared suggest major lifestyle changes or anything like that until he ends up with some quack who will happily tell him whatever he wants to hear as long as the check clears. Shitcanning anyone who has the audacity to try to be the adult in the room and replacing them with whatever sycophant chortles his balls with the most enthusiasm is like half his personality. That’s gonna be a major fucking hindrance to anyone who’s job would involve at least occasionally giving him bad news.

So did Steve Jobs.

All the medical expertise in the world mean jack dick if one is too much of an egomaniacal jackass to admit that the doctors may, in fact, know better than you.

Should we put all our eggs in that basket? Absolutely the fuck not, but it does still bear noting.

Oh hey, someone else is still immediately reminded of Mission Hill everytime they hear something referred to as kafkaesque.

Greenland Landscaping and Garden Center

And when you couldn’t find one?

I hope Sesame Street just goes all in, owns this, and has Bert and Ernie get married already. They haven’t done a wedding since Maria and Luis in the 80s and we all know those two are banging.

What’s the difference between an A10 and an F47?

One’s named after an ugly, foul-smelling pig and the other is a Warthog.

New England area checking in - currently about 5.90 at Aldi and like 8.10ish at stop and shop.

Edit: per dozen

Here’s hoping buddy goes and gets himself Ramsay Bolton’d