Apply boot to ass.

I once saw a car make a slow left turn, and both its right-side hubcaps kept going straight.

Dread Cthulu looks upon an anglerfish and burbles - “Dude, you good?”

Overlay the video of this with the audio of that bear opening a car door.

“What the fuck?! What the fuuuck?!”

… on consideration, it is the same joke.

For the love of fuck.

Ladybugs are even cuter, but do not fare as well.

Mold oxen

Because of the antennae! That’s adorable.

No amount of not-adblocking ever please this site enough to show me the actual article.

Fox killed dozens, possibly hundreds of shows, because they weren’t as good as peak Simpsons. They were wrong to expect everything to be that good… but it was that good.

Nowadays it’s just kinda there.

“To make an apple pie from scratch, first you must invent the universe.”

Three Panel Soul:

‘This person’s not allowed to do the right thing, because he was born wrong.’

Uh huh.

It is of course well known that careless talk costs lives, but the full scale of the problem is not always appreciated.

For instance, at the very moment that Arthur said ”I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle,” a freak wormhole opened up in the fabric of the space-time continuum and carried his words far far back in time across almost infinite reaches of space to a distant Galaxy where strange and warlike beings were poised on the brink of frightful interstellar battle.

The two opposing leaders were meeting for the last time.

A dreadful silence fell across the conference table as the commander of the Vl’hurgs, resplendent in his black jewelled battle shorts, gazed levelly at the G’Gugvuntt leader squatting opposite him in a cloud of green sweet-smelling steam, and, with a million sleek and horribly beweaponed star cruisers poised to unleash electric death at his single word of command, challenged the vile creature to take back what it had said about his mother.

The creature stirred in his sickly broiling vapour, and at that very moment the words I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle drifted across the conference table.

Unfortunately, in the Vl’hurg tongue this was the most dreadful insult imaginable, and there was nothing for it but to wage terrible war for centuries.

Eventually of course, after their Galaxy had been decimated over a few thousand years, it was realized that the whole thing had been a ghastly mistake, and so the two opposing battle fleets settled their few remaining differences in order to launch a joint attack on our own Galaxy – now positively identified as the source of the offending remark.

For thousands more years the mighty ships tore across the empty wastes of space and finally dived screaming on to the first planet they came across – which happened to be the Earth – where due to a terrible miscalculation of scale the entire battle fleet was accidentally swallowed by a small dog.

– Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy

Lossy codecs could cut that down tenfold, without any noticeable difference. A JPEG encoder from 1999 would work fine at this resolution. If you were sitting close enough to your 8K monitor to notice even the most glaring artifacts, you’d need to sit up and wipe off your nose smudge.

Did this image really need to be a 50 MB PNG? Did it really?

Ballpark $300 per go, typically ~10,000 ft, internet says that’s 30 seconds of freefall… I think you can get a dollar’s worth of skydiving by rolling out of bed the wrong way.

Sphere looks like circle. Chop sphere in half, lay flat, looks like two circles. BOOM, Banach-Tarski!

The ska jokes were one of the highlights of Renfield.