I can say from experience that every single person who makes, installs, or maintains POS systems thinks the exact same.

“How are you doing this Vincent? How have you done any of this?”

“You wanna know how I did it? This is how I did it Anton. I never saved anything for the swim back.”

-Gattaca

Exactly what I was going to post. Classic John Mulaney.

If you had just put Vicodin instead of Morphine it would have been 100% accurate. Although he does take Morphine a couple times as well, so maybe that’s just splitting hairs.

I read that in the voice of the black cat from Ghost Stories.

If you’re not masturbating with me then you must be masturbating against me.

For a minute I thought you meant seasonal shapes, like mixing boxes of Paw Patrol mac with Thanksgiving turkey-shaped pasta.

I was all over that until the raisins. Disgustayn!

I’ve never had a download tagged as SuccessfulCrab that wasn’t malware. I don’t know enough about them to know if that’s their fault or the indexers’.

Same here. I wasn’t great before, but I’m actually super fast at anything below 45 now.

Quick mafs

Madder Max

Don’t worry, the official standards are changing soon. Elon and others are already training us on the correct way to honor our supreme leader!

I was thinking of Norm Macdonald’s monologue when he got to host SNL after being fired.

Exactly what I thought of. No way this guy is serious; he just wants a wider dating pool.

That’s exactly what I thought too. I had to stare at this one for a while to get it.

Haunting. Jeff Goldblum looks like a gecko climbed in the transporter instead of a fly.

I thought the poster was AI art at first. Truly hideous.

Is there something I’m supposed to be doing with Queen Anne’s Lace? It gets more out of control every year, but I just rip it out and compost it.