Thank you so much for sharing in such detail, you’ve said things I never thought about. How looking at things from a different physiology perspective might change how I see things.
I do struggle with some of the thoughts you mentioned. I have always felt insecure and the added fact that I’m still a virgin just adds to my insecurities.
My dad has pressured me for things like school education and discipline. But when it came to girls he didnt really do so and he even told me it was better to just focus on my studies. Which I did but its not like I had an alternative ie someone interested enough in me to distract me form my studies.
But yeah my best friend for example has had all these experiences, meeting girls in such random scenarios and getting to have relations. Minewhile I’m still a virgin. All be it, all except for one of the girls I would probably not like to have sex with personally.
And I honestly dont know what to do to change this. All I’ve been doing is just trying to better my self. Learned to play the guitar. Almost graduated. Already have a job. Going to the gym/volleyball. I tried to dress better/fancier. All of these things and I still have no one.
This is very helpful. Honestly from all the comments here, yours have been the most insightful and helpful (not to say the others didnt help).
Funny enough I did hear about the ABC stuff when I tried therapy (I only had like 3 sessions and didn’t like my therapist) but I never thought to apply the ABC to this situation. Thank you for that realisation, for sharing your expenice and for being so open to talking. And I am happy to hear about your current relationship going so well.