Maybe some durian and Surströmming, too.

It’s the second most dangerous game. Behold:

Figglebottom looks like he’s the alpha and the omega male. Both the primal and the ultimate paragon of masculinity. An example of the ephemeral singularity and the eternal ubiquity, the foundation and the zenith.

A human being could have said that without drooling.

Furthermore, let’s prevent the ascension of an antichrist by [checks notes] using a perverse interpretation of theology to oppose charity and concentrate power? Sure, that makes sense. Hey, while we’re at it, let’s mitigate climate change by displacing wind, solar, hydro and nuclear with fossil fuels.

Edit: Grammar

Paunch-o Danza

To be fair, it was turning the frogs gay. I feel like we need to evaluate the cost-to-benefit tradeoff between completely destroying the human race as we know it and having amphibians and other species that don’t conform to traditional gender roles. It’s a tough choice.

I keep wondering when they’ll propose using coal to heat methane clathrates in the arctic for methane extraction. It really does seem like they’re actively trying to warm the earth at this point.

It’s okay. The think tanks, megadoners, and PACs with their arm up his puppet sleeve definitely know how tariffs work.

To be fair, the tariffs are having their intended effect. They’re working quite well for the ultra wealthy for whom they were designed. The inevitable financial fallout is a problem for the future, but it doesn’t really matter because workers and consumers will be left holding the bag as usual.

Oh, no no no! This will go toward lowering taxes! (Terms and conditions may apply)

The reactionary ombudsman of the techno-feudalist eldrich horrors.

Objection, it’s not a spork (it also has a knife edge), but assuming this gets overruled, I affirm my threat to use the unholy, very clearly haunted, and quite possibly toxic, number 3 spoon to threaten OP for the right to use any normal spoon.

Violence it is then:

Then we have an accord. IRL, I carry a cutlery set among the various other accoutrements in my bag, so we should be good.

3 and use it to threaten OP into letting me use a normal spoon again.

You forking would like that kind of bullshirt, you bench-ash deck.

I really hope we’re doing a “The Good Place” bit here, otherwise, I apologize profusely.

Edit: Make grammar gooder

It’s definitely not recommended by the few cosmology sources I’ve read.

Bap ba da, bap ba da, bap ba da, bap ba da, baaaaaaaaa.

[Ringtone]

Is it Thumb Wars?

By riding the bus with a reckless disregard for situational awareness apparently.