Is there anything I can do?

Yes, lot of stuff that you can’t even think about.

Your mind is playing tricks on you. It manipulates reality into an image that seems hopless and for you its the true state of the world.

Step 0 is to find safe space.

For starters I began with walking out of the house as much as possible (walks, riding a bike, hanging out in the libraries and malls to not freeze during wintrer)

Find minimum wage job that you can hold for a longer amount of time so you can earn money to try and rent a room somewhere to escape from your house.

Then you can proceed into step number one, where therapy and medication begin to work as you have safe space to go back to every day.

There maybe a possibility to convince your parents to send you away into the university and to live in cheap dorm rooms where you could escape from home and back in your healing journey.

Work from home is the worst possible advice. They would need to escape from home not stay there.

For me diary is an emotional outlet to process emotions. So I usually write how do I feel and what caused it.

I also write medical anomalies that happen in my life that is highly likely that I will forget them.

e.g. runny nose from hay fever(?)

I am a person that dosn’t form habits so I write when It strikes me fancy and I don’t feel guilty that I don’t do it everyday.

Sometimes I write a really oustanding event that is a contender for my TOP 10 days of my life (I have seperate file in my digital diary for them)

I also have separate files for writing about a topic I am reaserching and thinking about.

Every quarter I also review last 3 months and set myself theme for the next three months.

Visit my friend as easy return from japan seem unlikely with one way teleport.

All my life or All my life minus two years depending if self love is a valid answer for a loved one.

I discovered it years before the great reddit exodus of 2023 but then it didn’t have any discussions worth participating in so I didn’t even make an account.

The ww2 propaganda would be a strech for a third one but still could work.