Well, I keep trying to get people to pour habanero juice on themselves before blocking my windpipe, but no one wants to try it. Something about sensitive skin.

A thousand bucks? No, sorry, but I do have other things that could help. Holes that could be filled in your life.

Right? Either one of them would get me, but both together? Meeeow.

Just look at the sort of pelvic accessory you’re not interested in (bi people, I’m sorry)

Lol, I don’t know whether I’m like, “I like people,” because the whole ‘hole is hole’ thing, or the hole is a hole is wholly because of “I like people.” The things I want to do with my mouth, and to all people’s holes… well, whatever part is chiming in is chiming in with an entire carillon.

You’re gorgeous, mate.

It doesn’t have to be just your imagination, but I think there’ll be more focus on you!

Okay. Just send your address. /shrug

I wish this was closer, because I’m as up for it as it seems to be.

Aw, man, I hate seeing your name, but always love seeing that it’s you. I wish I could make it better for you.

Only if I can include other various phallic shaped objects in the contest.

I think that already IS an episode isn’t it? I distinctly recall something about a rodeo where the clowns end up being gay, but it was bill that got mistaken for one of them after he found joy in being a clown?

And here I thought sticking mine on the side of my house was the way to go…

It’s not my mouth that I want tall, long, and thicksome to be stopping in. Getting it all the way into the throat makes it feminine again.

I’ll take some of those. I bet some will even be happy with just one.

Fuck my christian upbringing, but would you mind fucking me at the same time?

The tight ass upbringing is probably half the equation for his white ‘friend.’

My insulin pump, as an example, violates 1, 2, and 8, for sure. You know what I do with it BECAUSE of that? I ignore most of its warnings. Following all the rules would probably make me care more.

Sex ed is gonna be real spicy.

how I became an absolute master of giving HJs

It’s too bad that we can’t have positive reinforcement for (beginning the introduction to) most sex acts. I like giving head because I love seeing my partner’s eyes roll backwards. It seems like there’s so much taboo that gets us excited and eager to try something, when we should all just be trialing to see what everyone likes.

Doesn’t look little at all, mate!